radiant | jung hoseok | ✓

chapter fifteen | sugar cookie tea

We reach the Bangtan home in record time, I doubt Yoongi took his foot off the gas for the entire drive. Judging by the pale tone of his face, this only confirms my suspicions.

The other constant that held true throughout the drive was Hobi's gentle touches and insistent to hold hands. He whispers comforting words into my ear before embarrassment seeped through his words and apologizing in a hushed tone for smothering me. I didn't feel burdened or annoyed by this, in fact, it was his low chatter and repeated questions about if I was okay was one of the driving forces that kept me from falling apart at the seams.

I wanted him to hold me, I wanted him to be near me.

In a selfish way, I wanted all of Hobi's attention. I wanted him to brush my hair from my face and continue to comfort me with the sound of his voice. It's such a lovely voice, I realize as Yoongi parks the car.

Namjoon leaves the car first, stepping out in the pouring rain and disappearing into the darkness. Yoongi twists his body to look back at us with worry shining in his eyes. His lips form a tight line as he studies me. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asks.

I nod at him, unbuckling my seatbelt. "Yeah, just a little shaken."

Hobi opens his door and casts me a lasting look. "This shouldn't have happened," he says so quietly I almost didn't hear him. "This shouldn't have happened to you..."

I swallow hard and force myself to smile at him. It feels wrong to try to pretend like the kidnapping didn't scare the absolute hell out of me. Yet I find myself repeatedly trying to convince them that I am alright and that I wasn't scared.

I don't want to embarrass myself any further if that makes any sense. Maybe it doesn't. Maybe I am lying to myself and forcing myself to fit into a mold of being a strong person. Forcing myself to mask my emotions in an attempt to recapture what was normal. Once again, I find myself rejecting change.

"It's the past now," I reply softly, opening my door. "It's done, and we're safe now." My statement feels hollow. I don't believe myself but that doesn't stop me from trying.

The soft light reflecting in Hobi's eyes dims as he looks over me. He doesn't believe me either.

We leave the safety and warmth of the car and step out into the violence of the storm. I turn my face away from the brunt of the wind, blinking away falling rain as if they were tears. I search the darkness for a beat before locating the apartment door. On shaky legs, I run to the door and skip up the wet steps.

Namjoon opens the door and allows the golden light from within to spill out, slicing through the pitch black around us. He hurries instead and kicks off his soaked shoes. He runs his hand through his damp hair before flattening it down on his head. He casts us a worried look but before he could speak, the door from upstairs opens with a loud bang.

"They're back!" Jimin shouts from above. The sound of pounding footsteps echoes through the staircase corridor and Jimin appears around the corner. He stares down at us with wide eyes, gripping the edge of the railing. "Are you okay, Fin? Namjoon told us what happened!"

I nod weakly and slip off my own shoes. "I'm okay now, they came just in time."

"Who was it?"

"I have no idea..." Shivers travel down my spine and my hand moves unconsciously to the lower region of my stomach. I shake my head quickly and drop my hand, letting it swing at my side. "They rammed into my car and took me to the trainyard. I didn't see much of them."

Jimin's eyes go wide. "Do we need to take you to the hospital?"

"No no, I'm alright. I just need to rest for a minute."