radiant | jung hoseok | ✓

chapter nineteen | devil's dark chocolate mocha

"How are you feeling, Fin?" Mom asks through the phone.

"I'm doing well, don't worry," I reassure her, curling my hand into a gentle fist and pressing down against my thigh. My legs hang off the edge of Hobi's bed, swinging aimlessly in the air. A strong sense of warmth still radiates through my body and echoes of his arms remain impressed against my skin.

It's surprising how much I miss him. I didn't realize I had developed such strong feelings for him in a short amount of time. Part of it can be accounted to him saving my life on multiple accounts, but the other part is difficult to put into words.

"You can always come home, you know that right?" she adds. There is a soft intonation of hurt in her voice. "I know it's a long drive, but I am happy to drive you to work every day..."

"I know, Mom, I know. I do want to come home," I reply in a gentle tone, knowing my decision to stay here might have hurt her feelings. I made her and Dad worry so much in these past couple of days and I don't want to hurt them anymore. They love me, and they want to help but they don't know all that has happened between me and Hobi. They don't know how serious I feel about it yet.

I need to tell her about the details and the entire story soon. I want them to know where I am in life, and I want them to understand my feelings. I love them, and I want to tell them about it.

I pause for a beat and glance over at Hobi's window. The rain has tapered off as Tuesday continues on but the dark clouds refuse to move along with the wind. It's a stubbornly dark day, but I have all the light I need in this home.

"Actually, are you free right now?" I ask. "I don't have a car, and the boys went to work. Could you pick me up from the apartment and we can grab some coffee? I have some things I want to talk to you about."

"I am! I would love to get coffee with you. What's the address?"

"613 12th Street," I recite from memory. It feels like forever ago when he told me. It was only a few days when they invited me for a Sunday barbeque.

"Okay, I will be there in a little bit. I love you."

"I love you too, Mom. Bye."

We hang up and I lower the phone from my warm ear. It's Hoseok's phone, he left it for me to use and told me to call Namjoon if I needed to get ahold of him. They left earlier to begin preparations for another night at Bangtan Chicken, now the home is empty and quiet.

I can't believe how much has changed.

The idea of change had always struck a chord of fear within me. It felt terrifying to not know what the future might hold. I wanted to be forever grounded in the reality I worked so hard to build for myself. I held onto that time for so long, and now everything has changed. It had a rocky start, between being kidnapped and being harrassed by Tyler, but now I feel safe and am becoming more comfortable in this new space.

Hoseok is my boyfriend, and I will begin my new job as a waitress for Bangtan Chicken.

There is still a pang of sadness in my heart when I think of Hallowed Grounds. I can't believe my final day is on Friday. I know I'll have trouble saying goodbye to the cafe. It holds so many memories, so many wonderful moments of growing my skills in the art of pastries and coffee craft. It feels bittersweet; losing the Hallowed Ground is equivalent to losing my hobbies. Without the proper equipment, I can no longer continue my hobbies to the degree I want them. It's too expensive to buy the unique tools I use for piping techniques and I know I will lose my apartment if I tried to buy a high-quality oven to replace the old one.

Hobi's phone buzzes in my hand.

I look down and find a text message from Namjoon. I open it and feel my lips part as the messages touch my heart.