An Extraordinary Life - an anderperry story

Chapter Three - August 1961

Wooden Heart
"And if you say goodbye/Then I know that I would cry
Maybe I would die/'Cause I don't have a wooden heart"

The rest of the summer passed by much quicker. Fortunately Jeffrey saw how unhappy Todd was at home and convinced their parents to let him spend the rest of the summer in the Hamptons with him, Catherine, and her family at the Walton's summer home. It was a welcome distraction and the first time in weeks most of his days weren't spent in a deep depression and he could get through the night without the pills. He got to know Catherine better and saw that she was a great match for Jeffrey and really brought out the best in him. Jeffrey really seemed to be making up for their lack of relationship when they were younger, and Todd couldn't help but think Catherine was playing a part in that.

Todd had told his brother not to tell Catherine about his feelings towards Neil and felt like Jeffrey respected that. He finally felt comfortable enough to confide in her about it by the end of his second week there. She hugged him tightly and thanked him for telling her. Todd couldn't help but feel emotional and happy to have a future sister who accepted him for who he was. But it also made him feel sad that he didn't think he could ever tell his parents. They were old-fashioned and definitely stuck in their ways. Plus he figured it would just be one more reason to believe Jeffrey was the better child.

But Todd loved being around Catherine's family. Her parents and grandparents were warm and caring and loved to include Todd in their nightly euchre games. Her father and grandfather would take him and Jeffrey on boys golfing days and his grandmother would tell him stories of when she came to America from England when she was a child. It made him wonder if this was how real families were supposed to treat each other. There with the Waltons was the most at home he had felt since being with the other Dead Poets. No wonder Jeffrey wanted to marry into that.

The three of them spent their days at the beach and their nights at home around bonfires and eating ice cream. Every once in a while Todd would catch them smiling at him, clearly thrilled that he was so content there. But that feeling wouldn't last forever.

August 11th was Catherine's 23rd birthday. Jeffrey took her on a walk on the beach after dinner and the two of them returned giggling and blushing. Todd wasn't surprised when they shared with her parents and grandparents that they had just gotten engaged. Jeffrey had practiced his proposal with Todd every night that week leading up to it. He had never seen his older brother more nervous (yet excited) than those nights and the moments leading up to their walk. Todd was thrilled to be gaining Catherine as a sister and her family as unofficial extended family.

But that night as he lay in bed, Todd found his mind wandering to Neil again. Neil would cross his thoughts at times throughout the day but he was usually able to redirect himself back to the present moment. But that night was different. He was ecstatic for Jeffrey and Catherine, yet he couldn't help but think about Neil. He still loved him but they would never be that happy together. Not just because Todd ruined everything but because two men would never be able to marry. He felt his hands begin to shake and he felt sick - literally love sick. He shot out of bed and ran out of the room he was sharing with Jeffrey. He opened their bathroom and found himself on the floor next to the toilet, that night's dinner coming up. Jeffrey was soon at Todd's side and grabbed a towel for him. "Do you feel alright?" He asked as Todd flushed the toilet and leaned his head against the bathroom wall.

"I haven't felt alright in months," Todd whispered. "But just felt worse tonight. Sorry. It's no one's fault."

Jeffrey nodded, seeming to understand what Todd wasn't saying. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked. He grabbed an empty cup and filled it with water from the sink before handing it to Todd. He gulped it down and felt a little relief from the nausea.