IT'S OKAY

CHAPTER 30

I took a deep breath before entering the house. As soon as I did, my mom rushed to me

"Oh my goodness, Alexa. Where in the world have you been? I have been worried sick about you" she said

I looked around, but he wasn't here anymore, there's wasn't even a trace of him

"He's not here" my mom said

I nodded

I hugged her. She stiffened, but quite expecting what I did. I didn't, either

"This doesn't mean anything. I don't understand you, and haven't forgiven any of you. I just need your hug right now" I told her

She hugged me. We stayed like that, before I pulled back

"You do know that we need to talk, right?" I asked

She nodded

"I know"

We walked to the sofa

"How long have you seen him again? Did you even ever cut ties with him?" I asked

"I did" she was quick to reply

"Then, how did you meet him again?"

"In my vet hospital. A customer came, and when I looked up, it was him. He was one of my first customers. But I didn't want anything to do with him, but he kept coming everyday, and I couldn't just close my store, when I had just started, and after everything I had put in. He apologized every single time he came for what he did to us, telling me to please give him one more chance. He was the one who helped my business grow, by bringing many of his acquaintances to the hospital. I decided to at least listen to him"

"What did he say?"

She was hesitant

"Mom?"

"When his unemployment was really getting to his head, he started doing drugs"

"What?!" I asked

My dad was someone who would never do drugs. I meant he was a psychiatrist

"He said the burden he was bearing was way too much for him to handle, so the bad influencers around him finally got their way. He said even when he knew what he was doing was wrong, and he wanted to stop, he couldn't stop, he had become addicted. And he couldn't tell us. But he said, a year after I made him leave he came to his senses. He went for therapy, and when he was done with it, he began to look for us. He came to Korea with the possibility that we I came back hear, then he met me again. He's a recovering drug addict and a well known motivational speaker"

I didn't say anything for a while, this was a lot to take in

"Why couldn't he tell us?" I asked

"Why did he carry the burden alone?"

"He didn't want us to be affected by his problem. He wanted us to be normal"

"And look at what that did to us"

I was crying

"Alex..."

"I have nightmares mom, although they can't really be called dreams" I finally told her

"What?"

She was definitely shocked

"Every night, I go back to the time I saw you pass out. Sometimes, you're being beaten, sometimes I am, sometimes we both are. Sometimes you are passed out, something I am, sometimes we both are. They just keep repeating themselves over and over and over again"

She hugged me, and I cried in her arms

"Biane. I'm so sorry, Soo Joon-ah. Omma neo-mu biane" I'm sorry... I'm so sorry

^^^^^

My ringtone was the first thing I sensed as I drifted back into consciousness

"Hello" I said into the phone

"You sound at peace"

"I just woke up"

"So, you were even able to sleep?"

"How did it go?" he asked

I opened my eyes. I signed

"Is that a good sign? Or a bad sign?"

"It's an all will be well sign" I said

A knock came from my door

"I'll see you later. Gotta go" I said and cut the call

"Yes"

My mom entered

I smiled at her

She looked nervous, and I had a feeling why

"You want me to see him, don't you?" I asked for her

"I know I'm not supposed to ask this of you, bit can you just see him just one time. Your can stop after that"

I took a breath

"I would have to see him now or them anyway, so I can just make it now" I said

I got up from the bed

"This too, small pass" I told her

Or way one of the things she used to tell me when we were beaten

"This too, small pass"

Just then, the bell rang

"Did you mean now?" I asked, my heart beat increasing

"Of course, not. I'll go see who it is" and said

I relaxed

"I'll go freshen up" I said

Just in case he was the one, I couldn't see him immediately

My mouth opened at I saw the visitors we had. Ji Sung and his parents

"Hi" he waved his hands

I have him a look that asked, 'what are you doing here?'

"My appointment, remember" he said

I gasped

"That's true"

Then I looked at his parents

"You don't mind if we come along, right?" the mom asked

I have her a smile, thinking why she was asking for my permission

"We also came to thank you. Thank you so much" the day said

The smile this time was genuine

^^^^^

Ji Sung had started his treatment, my mom was filled in on what happened, Ji Sung's parents had a talk with him. Everything seems to be going well, I just had one more thing to do

I took a deep breath and walked into his office. His back was facing me, giving me the chance to choose between flight or fight for my happiness, and family

"Dad?" I called quietly

I had made my choice

I saw him tense, but he turned to look at me, his eyes opened wide

"Alexa?" he asked, as if he couldn't believe I was there

He rushed towards me and hugged me.

"I'm so sorry" he apologized over and over again

I stiffened, and wanted to push him away, but I didn't. Slowly and purposely, I relaxed

We were going to have to do a lot of talking, and definitelycounseling. We may not even be as close as we were before I turned five, but I had a feeling that everything was going to be okay, even if it takes another ten years