Scandalous Affair: Atlas Mate

18

O L I V I A   V A L E Z

I can't look at myself. I was so ashamed of what I did! O, my god! What kind of devil possessed me last night? I wiped my face frustratingly using my palms. Ano bang kagagahan iyon, Olivia?

When I woke up this morning, the things I did, didn't sink in fully. It came rushing into my mind when I was showering. I could still remember how I bit my lips as I thrust my fingers inside me. I could still remember how beads of sweat formed on my forehead as I saw stars beneath my eyes as I came. I could still remember how my sex clenched and let out a hot sticky liquid as I gasped for air.

I did something bad, but why did it felt so good?

I must be going insane. Sabi na nga ba't hindi ako rapat nagsasama masyado kay Prim, e! That girl did influence me so bad. S-Should I consult Liberty? Should  I tell her? I think I can't do that! How could I bring myself to open my mouth and say, Hey, Libs! Guess who touched herself last night? Ugh! I'm so frustrated and embarrassed, but I can't deny the fact that I liked it! How can I not? It felt so good.

Now, I can understand why teenagers my age liked masturbating. It can give us the pleasure we cannot find in other things. I don't think I can keep this to myself. I felt like exploding, but I can't also tell this to others casually. Okay, Olivia, we're not going to say anything about it. Bite your lips if you need to stop yourself from spilling it, like how you tried to stifle your moans last night.

Kaninang nag-se-session kami ni Ms. Sally, ay parehas kaming hindi makatingin sa isa't isa. Hindi ako makatingin dahil feeling ko 'pag may nakatinginan ako mata sa mata, ay malalaman nila ang ginawa ko. Ewan ko sa reason ni Ms. Sally kung bakit hindi siya makatingin sa akin. I don't think she's the kind of woman who would be ashamed after what she did to my dad. I expected her to be happy and proud of it. I thought her smug smile would be plastered on her face all day. But it didn't show up. 

It's humiliating to say, but I think my fingers learned to work on my body faster than I can remember playing the violin. Mas natutunan ko pa ang mga masasarap na spot na hagudin. Nakahihiya talaga. Hindi yata nawala ang pagkamula ng aking pisngi habang tinuturuan ako ni Ms. Sally. Mabuti na lang talaga at mukhang may iniisip ding iba si witch kaya hindi na niya ako pinuna.

Kahit ngayon habang kumakain ako mag-isa ay hindi ito mawala-wala sa isip ko. Kung dati ay nalulungkot pa ako tuwing kumakain mag-isa sa malaking lamesang ito. Ngayon ay halos hindi ko na maisip ang kalungkutan na iyon. Ni hindi ko nga alam paano ko natiis na kumain dito mag-isa habang pinapanood ng mga katulong. Kahit ano namang yaya kong samahan nila ako ay hindi nila ginagawa. Kaya masaya ako tuwing may pasok sa school, because in school I have Liberty and Prima to eat with. And I can say, food became more delicious when you have someone to eat it with. That's also why I kept pestering dad about going to our province this summer vacation. 

At dahil sa mga iniisip ko nakalimutan ko ang pagkaayaw kong kumain mag-isa. Muntik ko pa ring makalimutan na darating nga pala ang team ni Ms. Elibera para sa preparation ng birthday ko. Sa pagkaaalam ko ay nasabi na naman ni dad ang gusto ko mangyari. Ngayon yata nila ipapakita sa akin ang plan na kanilang nabuo for my birthday party. Sakto namang pagkatapos kong mag-ayos ay dumating na rin sila.

I politely greeted Ms. Elibera and the team and guided them to our receiving area. 

"I'm pleased po that you guys have time to come here personally." I said as I pointed to the big sofa.

"Anything for you, Olivia!" masayang sabi naman ni Ms. Elibera habang ngumiti lamang ang mga kasama nito.

Sa lahat yata ng may gusto kay dad, si Ms. Elibera lang ang hindi ako iritado. But that doesn't mean that it's okay with me. Kahit kasi halata ang pagkagusto nito kay dad, 'pagnandito ako ay hindi niya ito pinapakita. She's maintaining herself professionally, and I kind of like it. It shows respect for me. Not unlike that witch.