It was as if her whole existence was that of a butterfly - beautiful, carefree, joyful. Then it all fell apart and that beauty, carefree nature, and joy dissipated into the never ending abyss.
Cue the betrayal of a moth.
•••
"It's hard to be with s...
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Chisoo woke up to the sound of laughter, which sounded more like screeching tires in her nightmare. She sat up and put her head in her hands, forgetting who's room she was in for a moment.
"Morning, sunshine." Haknyeon said.
She didn't say anything - the realization of what her nightmare was about was setting in. Her eyes glossed over and her stomach churned at the image of the blood stained interior of her car.
She got up and ran out of her brother's room, and into her bathroom. She held her hair back as she got sick, and she realized just how tired she was of feeling like this.
She couldn't keep much down these days because the mere thought of her dead family brought everything up.
She washed her hands and brushed her teeth, just to feel a little bit cleaner, and to feel like she accomplished at least something. She sat against the wall in her bathroom and closed her eyes, counting the breaths she took.
How much longer would this feeling of despair go on? Forever? Chisoo felt discouraged at the thought of never feeling normal again. What was the point of even trying anymore?
"Chisoo?" There was a small knock on her bathroom door. "Everything okay?"
She got up and opened the bathroom door as she pushed her hair back. Haknyeon saw the bags under her eyes and how her skin was paler than usual. He knew that she got sick, and it upset him to know that it was a frequent occurrence.
"I had the nightmare again." She mumbled.
He stepped aside as she walked out of the bathroom. "Do you think you could eat something?"
"Probably not at the moment," she sat on the edge of her bed and stretched her legs. "Don't feel bad to eat without me."
"But I always do, you know that."
She nodded slowly and looked up at him. "I want you to eat, Hak. Go eat, for both of us."
He pursed his lips and grabbed her doorknob. "Text me if you need anything, okay? I'll come right back here."
"I will," Chisoo gave him a weak smile. "Be safe."
He left her room and turned left to go to his own. She didn't want to be in her room anymore, so she decided she would go downstairs. It was a bit more lively and less melancholy. At least she could hear other voices as she sat on the couch and held her stomach.
