Love Is Like A Videogame (A SSOHPKC fanfic)

Chapter 19

I'd managed to sneak out of the hotel room after the boys had fallen asleep, even if James' tight grip around my waist made it hard. I had been waiting for about 10 minutes when the door opened and Seamus entered. He saw me and signalled he was ordering a drink first; I already had a cup of green tea in front of me on the table. A few minutes later he joined me at the table.

"Hey. I thought you wouldn't come..." He seemed happy to see me, but at the same time he still looked reserved. I just looked down at my hands, my fingers playing with my cup.

"Yeah well...I mi..." I almost let it slip that I missed him. It was the first time is was just us together and I honestly felt so vulnerable. I raised my eyes to meet his and he just stared at me. They were so much duller and worn out looking.

"You're not sleeping, are you?" I sighed. I knew him well enough to know something wasn't right with hi and I was sure of the cause. He shrugged a little.

"Not really." He let out a long breath. He wanted to talk to me but was giving me nothing.

"How come?" As soon as I asked, he changed. He tensed up and leant back again the seat, his free hand running itself though is hair. "What is-"

"- How come? Maybe because of this fucking dumb situation. Maybe because my girlfriend treats me like a possesion. Maybe because of that fucking text you sent me. Ava, my thoughts are driving me nuts! How is this fair?" His outburst caught me off guard and it took me a few seconds to register what he actually said.

"You mean the text that Ash sent off my phone because she didn't want us to hang out anymore? I didn't even see what it said." I knew it was bad but not that bad. He pulled his phone about and showed it to me. I shook my head in disbelief, and I could feel tears forming. "Sea, I...I...don't know what to say..."

"How did I not guess it was her, for fucks sake!" He was pissed off at himself, "This is so fucked up!" He leant his elbows on the table and placed his head in his hands.

"You love her, cause you would trust her." I was almost telling him he loved her, hoping it would remind me that he was off limits, as was I. He let out a single laugh and shook his head.

"I haven't loved her in a while Av." I looked away, I could tell his stare was burning into my skull. I could feel a familiar feeling bubbling up inside of me and I knew I had to suppress it. "She's a bitch." In my head I was pretending he hadn't said any of it because I knew if I pictured them happy, I would feel less bad. The more I tried, the more I welled up. I had my James but for some reason I felt something missing. "Av, you know-" Before he could finish, I sprung up from my seat. I couldn't let him see me cry over it. I thought I was over it. As soon as I reached the door and was hit by a cool breeze, I let out a sigh once again. Tears were streaming down my face, my body shaking and my breathing quickened. I sat myself against the wall as an attempt to calm down, instead my sobs got louder. I didn't even notice the door open and Seamus squat down next to me. I flinched when he reached his hand out and touched my face, knowing it would make it worse.

"Don't, please." My words were so mumbled he probably didn't even understand.

"This is my fault, I should of stayed away," He took hold my cold hand, and I didn't have the strength to deny him, "but you see, with you its not that simple. You're always in my fucking mind Ava. And I see how happy James makes you, he looks after you better than I ever did. I feel terrible but you still stay in my thoughts 24/7. Ash is just a distraction." I just watched him as he spoke, wiping my tears with my sleeve. I couldn't hold it down anymore. I smashed my lips against his, feeling guilty as hell but love was the dominant force. I missed those lips, those kisses, him. His hands reached my back and pulled me onto his lap. It was as that kissed was our chance to make up from the weeks apart.

"I love you." Our words were simultaneous.