This Won't End Well

24: How To Just Talk

There she stood, looking the same as last time Gon saw her. Her blonde, curly hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail. Stray pieces of hair came out of the binding and laid strewn across her face. She had on trace amounts of mascara and eyeliner smudged around her eyes, as if she hadn't put on new makeup since the day before. She seemed jaded and worn, but like she had been out living her life and just forgot that others could see her appearance. Either that, or she didn't care that they could.

"R-Retz?!" Gon somehow managed to stammer out.

"Hi, Gon," She replied meagerly, wringing her hands nervously out in front of her.

Gon's heart dropped. His voice caught in his throat as soon as he heard hers. It brought everything back- all the memories, all the experiences, all those overwhelming moments in the best and worst ways. All the feelings.

"Why- why are you here?" Gon asked, unable to drop his expression of pure shock.

"I just wanted to talk," Retz offered with a weak smile.

Gon jolted back, his face furrowing in thought. He shook his head faintly, as much as he could manage. "I don't think-"

"Please, Gon. I know I have some explaining to do. And that's what I'm here for," Retz interrupted, looking at Gon with pleading eyes and the same pitiful smile. Gon stood there in the doorway, looking down on Retz. He could see she was begging him, imploring him to hear her out.

He knew it was probably a bad idea. That she could say one word and have him roped back in. But looking at her, standing in front of him, it was surreal. There was no way he could say no. He was destined to lose the second she showed up at his door.

He sighed in defeat, looking away. "Okay," He conceded. Gon turned on his heel and retreated back into the apartment.

She wordlessly walked into the apartment and closed the door behind herself. Her quiet steps made almost no noise as she followed Gon into the kitchen area. Gon leaned against the table, crossing his arms like he was protecting himself. He looked at Retz as she studied the apartment.

"It looks the same since I was last here," She mumbled, her eyes studying the room around her.

Gon scoffed. "It's only been a month since the last time you were here. You know, before you dumped me over fucking text," He seethed, shooting daggers at his ex.

"You have a right to be upset with me," She murmured, her voice sounding defeated and somewhat nervous.

"Thank you so much for your permission," Gon sarcastically griped, clicking his tongue at the end of his sentence.

Retz sighed heavily, still fiddling anxiously with her hands. "I know I have some explaining to do."

"That's an understatement," Gon grumbled. "I mean seriously, Retz, what the hell?" He berated, his voice coated with all the hurt, confusion, and torment Retz had put him through recently.

"Let me explain," She pleaded, looking at Gon with a weighted expression. She felt every emotion he weaved into his words.

"Nothing you say will excuse the shit you pulled over on me. You know that, right?" He griped, letting his hands fall out in front of him to convey his feelings better. They accentuated his words, Retz feeling the pain of his conviction.

"I know. And I'm sorry," She mumbled softly, unable to make her voice any louder.

Gon scoffed harshly. "Yeah right. I'm sure you're so sorry," He mocked sarcastically, narrowing his eyes at her.

"I am. I really am. I didn't mean to hurt you," She said quietly. Gon jolted back at the sentiment.

"Didn't mean to- how the hell did you think I was gonna feel when you dumped me over text with no explanation after two years of dating, Retz? Fucking happy?!" Gon snapped with more condemnation in his voice this time.