Feeling Small (Vic Fuentes Fanfic) [COMPLETED]

Chapter 14 Part I

When I got home, the guys were seated around the kitchen table waiting for me. No one said anything as I grabbed a beer from the fridge and sat down between Mike and Tony.

"It's over" I mumbled, taking a long swig of the beer.

"Wait, what do you mean it's over?" Mike asked.

I shrugged, playing with the beer can.

"She ended it with me and she doesn't want us visiting her anymore" I said quietly.

We sat in silence taking the news in when Mike slammed his fist on the table scaring us all.

"So that's it? You guys are going to give up on each other? That's actually the biggest bullshit story I've ever heard in my life. You guys are perfect for each other, and you guys love each other. People who love each other don't just give up on each other, they stick with each other through no matter what. So you can't just give up on her or let her tell you what to do. Don't give up on her Vic, we know that you don't want to, hell, we don't even want to lose her" Mike ranted.

I sighed, but I knew Mike was right. But I didn't know how to fix this, let alone come back to her without Kai screaming at me.

"I just don't know what to do" I mumbled, looking at my now empty beer can.

"We'll help you dude, we're here for both of you" Jaime said.

Just hearing the support from the guys helped me relax. Mike was right, and I had the support from my best friends.

"Thanks guys, seriously though, I don't know what I'll do without you" I said honestly.

"We're here for you dude. You would do the same if it happened to any of us" Tony said.

I slapped them on the backs, and headed towards my room feeling exhausted from the day. I crawled into bed rolling over onto Kai's side, pressing my face into her pillow breathing her in. Before I knew it, I was fast asleep.

--

Kai's POV

I wiped my face and stared at the ceiling hoping it would fall on me. After I had my panic attack, my heart thought it was a good idea to freak out along with me, and unfortunately here I still am. The doctor lectured me about not getting better and that I had to take care of myself. When he started talking about my blood tests, I totally zoned him out and starting singing 'Bohemian Rhapsody' loudly in my head. Thankfully, he left after sighing very loudly, oh well.

Ever since I couldn't stop crying and just couldn't handle the fact that Vic and I were over. No more dates, cuddles, kisses, I wouldn't even see the guys anymore.

Sighing, I rolled over and ignored the IV in my hand, and wondered if I should just yank it out. I was about 600% done with this hospital, and the shitty white jail cell I was in. I was in the middle of my hate list when someone knocked lightly at the door and I rolled my eyes, probably another nurse giving some damn medication.

"Hey" the second last person I thought would be here, came through the door. He sat right beside my bed and his fierce blue eyes pierced through mine.

"Hi" I whispered, shocked Josh was even here.

"Kai, I heard Vic's side of the story, so I want to hear yours. You need to tell me everything" he breathed, taking my hand.

I shook my head, and pulled my hand back, I just wanted him out of my room. I didn't need him telling me what to do, and what I should be doing.

"Please Kai" he whispered. Fine.

"I broke up with Vic because he needs someone who isn't sick and holding him back. I give up on recovery and everything else. I'm tired of pleasing everyone and helping everyone out, when it's obvious I just need someone to even ask if I'm okay. It's not fair, everyone can be happy except for me! Since there is no one there for me, it's just easier to push everyone away so I can just drown in my own misery. I don't get it Josh, why can't I just be like everyone else? Instead, I'm just a useless human being taking up space on this planet. I just can't handle it anymore" by this point I was bawling my eyes out.

While I ranted, Josh sat there taking everything in, and I could tell he listened to everything I said. I sat there and bawled, crying for my pathetic self and crying for the one good thing in my life. I missed Vic so much, but I know it had to be this way. Suddenly Josh did something I had probably never seen him do, he hugged me. He held me while I cried, and as soon as his arms wrapped around me, I cried even hard if it was even possible.

"It's going to be okay Kai, I've been in your place but with drugs in my system to add on with the eating disorder. But if I can get through it, you can do it. You're the strongest person I know, and I know there's a part of you who's screaming to be saved. This is your opportunity to let that part of you to be saved. You have too much talent and beauty to throw away. Think about your fans, you've saved so many lives, so you're not useless. The boys love you, Vic loves you, I love you, your fans love you, so please don't give up" he mumbled in my hair.

"But I yelled at Vic and he probably hates my guts now. I said some pretty harsh things to him, I really screwed up" I said, my eyes started to water again.

"I'll talk to him about it, but he'll understand. Just give each other some space, and when you're ready to talk to him, you can always call him or text him to visit".

I thought about it, and Josh was right.

'Thanks Josh, I guess I just needed to get it off my chest. I've been keeping it in for a while now".

"You're welcome. It eats away at you really quickly, huh? But I know you'll do the right thing. You're stronger and smarter than this illness Kai. We all believe in you" Josh smiled.

We spent the rest of the day watching TV and talking about their upcoming Canadian tour in the next month. I was really bummed that I would probably be still in the hospital when they leave, it would have been fun touring with them again.

After visiting hours, I managed to take my pills and finish most of my meal without freaking out too much. The conversation with Josh really helped me when I thought I was going to fall apart. After my meal, I flipped through the channels and settled on watching 'The Big Bang theory" until I couldn't keep my eyes open and eventually fell asleep.

~

Part II tomorrow, too tired x_x