I am so sorry in advance cause I am writing this chapter at 3 am in the morning.
Over the last few days, Gwyn hadn't spoken even a single thing, Azriel couldn't be more worried.
He had stayed outside Gwyn's room. He heard her sobs and cries even though she tried her best to hide them. Gwyn knew Azriel was outside her door, it was the only thing that gave her peace.
But she could not gather enough courage to go out there and talk to him. Not when he had seen her like this. Not when he might think she was useless.
She couldn't be more wrong. Azriel didn't care about that. He only wanted to see her teal eyes again. Every night when he heard her breathing slow down, he would go into her room and stay there until sundown, not sleeping at all. Afraid that if he slept, the number of hours he could see her beautiful face would decrease.
Tarquin had come by a few times and those times she thought she couldn't hide anymore and that she had to be vulnerable. But Azriel didn't let anyone except the servants who brought food through her door.
He didn't let Tarquin in. He didn't. He couldn't. He couldn't handle the fact that she would want Tarquin to hold her instead of him. Couldn't handle the fact that she would confide in Tarquin rather than him. He wasn't ready for that kind of rejection and he knew it.
How many times? How many times could he live like this. How many times would girls pick anyone else over him. Nesta had taken Elain with her to the night court to ensure her safety. He was happy that Elain was safe. But, Elain was the only distraction which kept him sane. Which kept him from thinking of her and how he would never get her.
After 3 days, Gwyn finally came out of the room. She couldn't cry anymore. She had a job to do and she would complete it. She made a plan. She would bottle up her emotions, but not so much that they blow up. Every day, at midnight, she would face those emotions through practice. She knew she wouldn't be facing those emotions, but rather ignoring them.
But sometimes, Prettier lies are better than ugly truths. People think the truth will always come up. They are wrong. Pretend for long enough, and everyone will believe. You know the truth, why to tell everyone about it. Dust the mirror so much, that the real reflection is not visible.
She got in her training leathers, a white shirt and black leather pants and out of her room. As soon as she opened her door, she saw Azriel standing up. His eyes were swollen and his hair was a mess. Before he could ask anything she told him, "I'm fine" And smiled the best she could before leaving and going to the ground.
I'm fine. Azriel saw right through her smile. Most of the people would have believed it, but not Azriel. He didn't need to look at her smile, just her eyes. She had concealed her puffy eyes with powder. But those teal eyes held pain and dark secrets. Pain even Satan would be afraid of and Secrets even the dark couldn't contain. She was thinner, she hadn't eaten any of the meals. But Azriel knew the only thing he could do right now, is be there for her. Just like he had hoped someone would be there for him but was disappointed to see that no one was.
Gwyn went to the garden, eager to train. Only to find no one there. "Where is everyone?" She asked the one of the servants. "They're in the Kala jungle, for the Kalasian."
"What's the Kalasian?", " It's like a competition for all the warriors, it tests their team work mainly and sees if the warriors are ready to fight"
"Ohkay, Can you give me the directions to this jungle?" Gwyn asked and the lady told her. Gwyn was just about to go when Azriel joined her, in his leathers as well. He didn't speak anything, he just let Gwyn lead the way. Their run was peaceful for Gwyn. But that's all it was. It didn't help with anything.
