AVENGERS / CAST IMAGINES

NATASHA ROMANOFF | CHILD

Warning: Toxic mother, suicide.

I don't know how to feel. I love you, but I don't. You say you miss me, but you're the reason why I'm pushing you away.

You always treat me like shit. You always ignore me. You always say that I will reach my goal somehow. And that 'motivation' is you pointing out all my mistakes and degrading me.

Even when it's my first time, you get mad at me because I didn't do it right and lecture me for 10-20 minutes before sending me off and greeting me as nothing happened.

You say my attitude is awful, but it comes from you. You say that I get mad rapidly and complain about it, asking where this came from when it comes from you.

The last time you complimented me was when I was 10, and now I'm 21. All you do is insult me without even noticing. I confessed that I felt like a disappointment, and you only grumbled, eyeing me and muttering that I'm not.

My heart aches all the time, and I constantly feel drained. My body feels hollow. I feel like you've abandoned me, I never feel your love anymore, and yet you're the one who brought me into this world.

And you'll be the one to take me out.

I couldn't take this pain anymore, so I drove to the nearest bridge, hurriedly opening the door and standing on the railing. 

I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and enjoying my last few moments as I open them again and look at the ocean below me.

People gathered around, a few of them helping me while the others called the police. 

No one can help. If my mother can't, then no one will. I took my last few breaths and jumped, my back facing the water as I smile, letting my tears fall as I look at my mother staring at me in horror.

***

I'm sorry that this is a sad chapter, I just needed to pour my feelings out. The 21 years old part is not my age.