𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐓𝐎 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐍 ; 𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐦𝐢𝐧-𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬

𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐔𝐏𝐎𝐍 𝐀 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄, 𝐈 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐓𝐎𝐎.

genre: angst, literally just angst
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renjun smiles in shallow happiness, humming summery melodies as hendery walks through the door, obviously having noticed renjun's mood, if stopping in his tracks was anything to go by. "hey, what's got you so.. happy today?" the taller boy asks, voice knowing, and light fear laced in his tone.

"i'm calling nana again, it's 6:30, remember?" the boy says, his smile full, which should relieve hendery, but it doesn't. it doesn't, because his eyes don't sparkle as much as before. his eyes that jaemin used to describe as 'full of stars and galaxies', look only like voids, dull, endless.

but see that's not all. hendery is beyond worried, because jaemin and his relationship ended three years ago. after 4 years of a full, bright, "goal-like" relationship, it all ended.

it ended, because jaemin wasn't in the dating like anymore— he was getting engaged.

and it wasn't with renjun.

at first, both of the lovesick idiots called every day, exchanged their vows, words along the lines of "we don't have to have a label, it'll always be you", because jaemin's engagement was beneficial for his family's economic situation.

but as anyone could guess, that didn't work out.

jaemin eventually gave in to his new fiancé, started to enjoy the warmth that mark radiated. he started forgetting just how perfectly renjun felt in the crevice of his neck— he replaced the everlasting love he once had, for renjun.

"um, and jaemin's up to this..?" hendery carefully asked, and renjun twitches, smile faltering in only the lightest way possible— almost undetectable. "of course he is! who do you think i am?" renjun asks incredulously, as if it were the most obvious thing ever.

hendery slowly nods. "are you sure you don't want to do something else today? i heard donghyuck's ordering pizza tonight! there'll be hot guys too!" hendery tries to pull of his usual perky suggestive comments, but he can't bring himself to playfully nudge at renjun's arm, he can't believe how hard it is to not say something like "he's moved on! time for you to do the same!"

but the two used to be everything to one another— so renjun, the one who hadn't tried— hadn't been able to move on, was left behind, stuck, broken, blast into a trillion pieces, pieces that were too little to attempt to piece together— to start over.

so he did the only thing he found rational (is it though?). renjun never told jaemin anything he should've. he didn't say "it's okay. i'll be fine. i know you're starting to love mark, and i'll be okay on my own, you don't have to force yourself to keep the calls up."

no. he did quite the opposite. renjun closes his eyes lightly, remembering the scene unfold, the way he told jaemin that he wouldn't let go. that he wouldn't try. renjun called jaemin, the pet names rolling off his tongue as if they'd never broken up.

he pretended that jaemin still loved him, and that he wasn't only pitifully holding onto their love— their pain. he told jaemin that he owed it to him to accept those calls , to continue letting renjun live his fantasy of a love story.

and what choice did he leave jaemin?

"can't. don't try to drive me away from jaemin. i'm no cheater." renjun smiles fakely, finishing up the sandwich he'd just made, and bringing it to his room, not sparing hendery his usual "have fun! bye!"

renjun hovers his finger over jaemin's contact, calling as soon as he found the option. after a few rings, jaemin picks up the facetime call, and renjun beams. "hi babe," renjun smiles.