Coffee Love

Distraught

I was asked to join the ADA at the bar. They were all there except the president, I think they went in secret. Though I didn't see any of the children, not the farmer boy Kenji nor the quiet assassin Kyouka.

We drank again. The alcohol here tasted more branded and felt more filthy rich than whatever I drank at my home. I was just starting to get better. But it was great seeing Ranpo finally let things out and act as himself. We all sat in a row in our stools. The suicidal Dazai Osamu was messing around with Kunikida. Ranpo told me that Dazai was someone far different than he acted and I should stay away. I am still confused as to why.

Ranpo and Yosano had been playing draughts for a while despite Ranpo's complaints. He was going on about wanting something like: nom nom nom. It was like he had his own secret code. After that, Ranpo grabbed me, "Poe!! I knew you broke it!" He laughed. My face was shocked, I showed much more emotion from being intoxicated, "I'm not mad! I'm never maaad! Because that's not what people like me do!!" He was clearly rambling again.

Yosano stared daggers, "Please don't tell me... Things are falling apart." She looked at me.

I stared back, "Maybe things are. I don't know." My words came out quickly despite my inner conscious knowing I shouldn't be speaking like this. But since I was drunk, I just spilt everything out.

"Tch. I don't care! Hug me!" And with that I did. "I have no idea what you're talking about! But! Things will always fall apart! You can always try again..." He melted in my arms.

That was weirdly inspirational. "Thank you Ranpo." I whispered. I let him go and made him rest his head on the table.

After that I sat alone with Karl as Ranpo continued rambling to Yosano about hating life. How Fukuzawa no longer pays attention anymore and other things.

"Ah!" I heard someone go, "You must be Poe." It was Dazai, he didn't look intoxicated by the alcohol. The brunette stretched his hand out, "Nice to meet you, I am Osamu Dazai."

I shook his hand before responding, "It's nice to meet you." I mumbled. "You don't seem to be drinking, I felt like you'd be one who loved alcohol." Though I wasn't trying to stereotype him, Dazai looked like someone who would take a few shots.

Dazai shrugged, "I've had some bad experiences with alcohol. Though I do keep bottles of them inside my house." Is it bad I relate to a man like him?

"Ah, I have that same problem. Well, I tried to get better and stop. But then... yeah. I couldn't really keep Ranpo's promise." I laughed a little.

The brunette looked almost in awe, "I see. That's why you're avoiding it." He smiled. "I knew there was something more between the two of you." He gave a mischievous smile.

I shrieked, "It's really not like-"

"It's obvious." Dazai cut me off.

We blinked at eachother for a while. They had a calm expression, while mone was rather terrified.

Atsushi then came in terrified, "Dazai! Yosano is trying to chase down a drunk man who came in earlier!" He shouted.

"You mean the one who said it's shameful for women to drink?"

"Yes!" He shouted in a panic.

"What an amazing women." Dazai showed no interest.

Atsushi's face fell, "You're not going to do anything? Seriously??? Am I the only one left with a brain here?" The tiger looked over at me, "Oh! Hello Poe!"

I was caught off guard, "Hello." I responded. "Say, Atsushi, has Ranpo been acting odd recently?" I asked.

He turned to think for a second, "Yes, actually, he was more sad. That was why Yosano suggested this." He told me.

Oh no. It was my fault.

The colour in my face had drained quickly.

A lot of time passed as a blur while the chaos grew. Ranpo had been avoiding me a lot too. Maybe I should tell him I wasn't as bothered by it. Maybe it would be easier like that.

Eventually, I did drink though. I drank and drank in secret. I hid away in the bathrooms and drank much much more compared to when I was with everyone else. I drank so much my intestines were so numb I had to check if I could feel a thing.

One drink was something that could intoxicate me enough. Now I was full on drunk. Even the pen I'm using is making a bunch of scribbles and misspelgltt words while writing.

I felt so alone. I missed Ranpo. I never meant to be so upset and I knew it wasn't his fault at all for feeling like this. However, I can never reach out to him now. He's busy and I think is ignoring me, one of the only people I knew, is ignoring me. It makes me feel awful. I wish I could do something. I want to talk to him one last time.

I'll go to the bathroom again.