All Your Perfect Imperfections

Chapter Five

-Avery-

Today was an exciting day for me. The first culvert for the culvert improvement project was going into the ground. Better yet, this culvert wasn't far from the forestry camp. Some of my former coworkers were coming to help, and then Devin and I were going to stay overnight at the camp. It would be just like before. I couldn't help smiling as I looked out the window and watched the trees go by.

Devin squeezed my knee. "You excited?"

I turned and nodded enthusiastically. "About everything. It'll be good to see Sam and Marc and Amanda and Peter and Mitch. And for us to share a bed in one of the cabins again, like we used to. And to see the first culvert go into the ground."

Devin smiled back at me. It was a real smile and not one of his characteristic smirks. "I'm happy that you're happy."

"Are you happy to be going back?" I asked.

"On some level, yeah. It's where I met you, so there are a lot of good memories there. But there are a lot of bad ones too. It was kind of a rough time for me, and I got my heart broken, and I'm not sure how the others are going to feel about seeing me again. I know they don't like me."

I put my hand on top of his. "They feel differently about you after you rebuilt my project. And I know they'll give you a second chance. You don't need to worry about that."

He lifted our hands, pressing his lips to the back of my hand. "I just want to focus on you and remember how I felt when I fell for you. I'm lucky I got to know you and that you saw past my bad qualities. I'm lucky you're in my life, and I love you."

There were those words again. I love you. They were so sweet coming from Devin, but sometimes I wished he wouldn't say them.

"I really care about you," I replied. I felt guilty that I still couldn't say the words he wanted to hear. "And I'm lucky that you decided having a boyfriend didn't sound like a bad idea after all."

Devin chuckled and turned his attention back to the road. "It definitely hasn't been a bad idea. Things are better with you beside me. You make work more tolerable. You make everything more tolerable."

"I'm sorry your dad puts so much pressure on you. Have you thought any more about whether you want to stick with engineering? Or if you want to do something else?"

"What else would I do? When I'm not working, I travel, go clubbing, go to the gym or do rich people stuff with Carter."

I hesitated. I really wanted to help Devin, but I didn't want to push too hard either. "What about the gym? Do you want to be a personal trainer?"

He snorted. "That'd go over well with my dad. I don't think they make much money and it's not a prestigious job or anything. And I only work out so I look good. It's not like a passion or something I'm excited about."

"There's nothing else? No other hobbies or even something you're interested in?"

I expected Devin to get annoyed and change the subject, but instead he started chewing on his bottom lip. "Um, there might be something. But I'm not sure if it's worth pursuing and I haven't told anyone about it. No one knows."

Instantly, I was curious. Devin actually seemed nervous, and it wasn't like him to not be confident and straightforward about something. I squeezed his hand, letting him take his time.

He was quiet for another minute, and then he said softly, "I like to sing. When I was younger, I practiced when my dad wasn't home, and now I practice in my condo. I think I'm decent, but maybe the whole thing is just stupid. It's not like I can do anything with it."