All Your Perfect Imperfections

Chapter Nineteen

-Avery-

Two weeks later, I was scrubbing every surface in the condo to make sure it was sanitized and safe for Devin. He was coming home. After his month in the hospital, the doctors said his initial treatment was successful and he was in remission. It was the best news I'd ever heard in my life.

I had celebrated with Devin and was all smiles around him, but the moment I was alone, I began sobbing. I called Sam, who was immediately freaked out upon answering, but I assured her it was good news. I'd been so worried about Devin that I didn't even realize how stressed out I was.

I knew he wasn't out of the woods yet, but at least it felt like we could all relax a little. If everything kept going well, Logan wouldn't have to lose his son in addition to his wife. I wouldn't have to lose the man I'd grown to love.

As I walked through the condo, I mentally ran down the list of things I still needed to do. Everything needed to be perfect. I couldn't miss anything, or being here would have a negative impact on Devin's health. I'd deep cleaned the entire condo, installed grab bars inside and outside of the shower in both bathrooms, and set up the guest bedroom for Devin to stay in when he did his outpatient chemo cycles.

The next thing to focus on would be food. I was going to donate or throw out anything that Devin shouldn't eat, and then I was going to spend the rest of the night planning meals that would be safe for Devin. He was still struggling to eat sometimes due to nausea, so smaller, bland meals would be easier for him to tolerate.

Despite all this, I was excited for Devin to come home. After a few days, the chemo would be out of his system and I could kiss him again. We'd have a little bit of time before his first outpatient cycle started, and I was determined to make the most of that time.

I closed my eyes, imagining what it would be like to kiss him after over a month of not being able to. I could almost feel his lips on mine. I remembered how I loved to keep one hand on his sharp jawline as we kissed while my other hand wandered over his body, over the taut muscles of his abs and around the curve of his ass.

I didn't expect anything sexual to happen. It would be more than enough for me to feel Devin's body against my own - to hug him tightly, curl up together as we slept - and to nuzzle his nose and feel his cheek pressed to mine. I just wanted him close. I wanted physical proof that he was still here, that cancer hadn't taken him from me.

-Devin-

As I rode home in the car with my dad, I was quiet. I knew I should be happy to be going home and happy that I was in remission, but everything wasn't magically better the way I thought it would be. I wasn't done yet.

Over the past couple days, I'd had to come to terms with continuing my chemo. I still had six months left to do at home to make sure the cancer was gone, and even if that was successful, I had another two years of maintenance chemo to make sure the cancer didn't come back. My life wasn't going to be normal for a long time.

"How are you feeling?" my dad asked.

"Fine."

"I thought you'd be more excited about going home."

I sighed. "I am. I'm happy to be out of the hospital, but I wish all of this was over with."

My dad reached over and squeezed my shoulder. "I know. It's tough, but you've done so well."

"That's because of you and Avery."

"Hey, give yourself some credit. If there's one thing I know about you, it's how stubborn you are. You weren't going to let cancer beat you."