All Your Perfect Imperfections

Chapter Sixteen

-Devin-

My first week in the hospital went by quickly because of all the new experiences, medical tests, and getting used to the side effects of my chemo. By the weekend, I was tired of being poked and prodded and constantly woken up by a nurse or doctor. I wanted to be done with this shit and go home, but I still had three more weeks. Complaining about it kept my mind off the reason I was here, and the possibility that I might not get better. I didn't like to think about that.

I wouldn't have made it through this without Avery and my dad. They had settled into a routine - my dad would stay with me during the day while Avery was at work, and then Avery would stay with me in the evening and overnight. I felt the worst in the evening, and poor Avery was the one comforting me when I was curled into a ball, groaning from the nausea, or helping me when I was vomiting. I was thankful he was here when I needed him most, although I felt guilty for putting him through it. But he never complained.

Today was Saturday, so Avery would be with me all day. We had taken a walk down to the family room for a change of scenery, and Avery was preparing my breakfast in the kitchenette. After one day of hospital food, my dad had hired a private chef to cook meals that were safe for me to eat, and every morning he showed up to the hospital with all three of my meals for the day.

Avery set my food down on the table with a smile, but I wasn't excited about breakfast. I was on a medication that decreased my nausea most of the time, but that didn't mean I wanted to eat. I didn't have much of an appetite and certain food smells and textures made me feel sick.

"You should eat it," I told Avery. "I'm not hungry, so I'll wait until lunch to eat."

"I'm not eating your food. You need the calories so you can keep your strength up and get better."

I knew that no matter how long I resisted, I was going to lose. Avery had the patience of a saint, and we'd already been through this battle many times.

"I really don't want to eat."

Avery stared at me, a soft, neutral expression on his face.

"Fine," I said, rolling my eyes. I picked up my spoon and took one bite before setting it back down. "See? I ate."

Avery leaned back in his chair. "Nurse Evelyn said I can help you in the shower today. She's going to show me what to do so I can help you going forward."

I grinned. "That just made my day a whole lot better."

"I told her I'd be happy to help, as long as you eat at least half of your breakfast. If you eat less than half, your dad is helping you instead."

My mouth dropped open. "You wouldn't do that to me."

Avery just smiled sweetly in response.

"You are not as nice as everyone thinks you are," I said, pointing at him and scowling.

Avery laughed as I reluctantly ate another bite of my breakfast. It was going to take me a while to get the food down, but I'd do it for Avery.

-

Later, I closed my eyes as Avery gently massaged his fingers into my scalp. If I didn't look at my surroundings, I could pretend we were at home in the shower and everything was fine. I could pretend I wasn't sick and too tired to take a shower on my own. I could pretend Nurse Evelyn wasn't hovering in the doorway to the bathroom in my hospital room, instructing Avery on what to do as he stood just outside the shower, fully clothed and reaching in to help me.

None of this was how I wanted to spend the first year of my relationship with Avery.

"You can put your head back under the water," Avery said, his voice bringing me back to reality. He helped me rinse the shampoo out of my hair, and I smiled at him as soon as I wiped the water off my face.