Sunflower | h.s

54

A/N: I took this photo when I went up to London haha! I want it to be kind of what the houses look like when I describe them (just imagine it's day tho.) <3 mwahh.

Aaliyah Moreno

Silence is suffocating, even more so when you sit in it by yourself. My mum always told me that silence held the answers to all our loud thoughts. But in this case, there were no answers. I've always been told silence has so much to say. Nothing came to my mind. It felt dark, quite lonely being trapped inside your own head, it was one thing to be lost in your head and another to be trapped inside it. Right now little me in my head was trying to search for answers in the silence while my eyes traced the patterns of the ceiling in the hope of leading me somewhere. But I was stuck.

I was trapped somewhere between wanting to forget and wanting to hold on. Harry roughly ten minutes ago gave me a load of information, almost too much to handle. And that was just me hearing it, I couldn't begin to imagine what it feels like to have it happen to you. I felt trapped in wanting to forget that he told me. It just feels as though I'm now carrying it on my shoulders, through no fault of his. Rather through a fault of my own. I'm trapped in wanting to hold on to the information for his sake. He told me out of trust, out of love. He feared I'd love him less when he told me, he feared I'd view him differently.

Truth be told I love him more. I couldn't be happier that he came around to telling me and I feel proud that he found it in himself to not be scared to tell me anymore. But right now I'm just stuck with what to do with the information, Harrys now downstairs getting his camera and shoes on while I'm up here asking myself the same burdening question of why?

I sat in silence. A suffocating silence as I followed my mother's words and waited for an answer. I guess I was so stuck because my question was not specific. My question was one that gets asked probably millions of times daily and has millions of answers.

Why?

Why did he carry that burden for so long?
Why did he fear telling me?
Why did he think I would love him less?

These circulated through my head for seconds that felt like hours. I couldn't bring it upon myself to ask him all these 'why' questions because he probably asks himself the same ones regarding his situation everyday.

I cant help but have my heart feel so connected with his, despite our situations being polar opposite, we both just get each other. I used to say I understood Harry, I felt like I did. But I will never understand him, not once. To say I understood him now would be selfish. Instead we recognise how each other feel and acknowledge it's okay the other might not understand.

We are each other's sunflowers, all we have to do is to be there in each other's darkness, and be willing to be there as each other's brightness.

My thoughts come to a halt as Harry knocks on our bedroom door. One sight of his pretty smile and I'm made aware of my surroundings again. No more being trapped in my head, no more 'why' questions. I feel content again, home.

"Are you ready?" Excitement is the only way to describe what he was probably feeling. I can say that because he always gets excited when I have no clue what's going on. Yet he's the one always reassuring me not to get too excited.

Ironic huh?

"Will you please just tell me where we are going." I try to sound stubborn but him bouncing on the souls of his feel was enough to make me crack a smile.

"Not a chance petal. I see you brought your book. He says looking at the unfinished 'beauty of a sunflower' under my arm. It was an overdue read in which I wanted to get back into.
  "Ready?"