𝚂𝚃𝙴𝙰𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝙴𝙲𝚁𝙴𝚃𝚂

4

It was a good while later (and Y/N was a good bit more tired) when they finally stopped training, hid their ODM gear again and went for some food. The great thing about training (besides the fact that Y/N got to spend time with Levi) was that they usually went to get some amazing food.

It was too expensive to eat out often, but Levi was generous with them on special occasions like this. Y/N could barely believe her luck when she saw and smelled the fresh potatoes and vegetables in front of her. They usually got to eat whatever was left over from the surface and considering how many famines there were, it wasn't much. No wonder there were children starving in the streets all the time.

Y/N took a few moments to appreciate the food in front of her. Levi didn't usually eat too much, so he just had his tea and some bread. He seemed like a weirdly picky eater in some ways, but also strangely simple with his tastes. Y/N figured that he probably didn't like change too much. And tea. He loved his tea and Y/N couldn't figure out what about it he liked so much.

Isabel was very different from her and Levi. As soon as she had a plate in front of her she dug in with a big smile on her face, as if she had been starving her entire life until this very moment. Honestly, Y/N couldn't blame her. It was very tempting to just wolf down all that food, but since they didn't get a chance to eat like that every day... Y/N preferred to take her time and enjoy it.

It was pretty difficult, however. It smelled so good and she could see Farlan eyeing her up from across the table, a big smirk on his face as he commented on how good the food was and asked her constantly whether she was still going to finish that. Of course she was going to finish it. She was just taking her time, that was all. At least Levi knew, as he smiled at her slightly.

"I'll never get what you're waiting for, Y/N..." Farlan commented finally, as he glanced at her food that was barely touched.

"If we had food like this every day I wouldn't be waiting." Y/N answered with a sigh, as she ate more. They barely had enough food to eat anything at all each day. Especially when she wasn't at home with her uncle. And Y/N was trying to avoid him as much as possible at any given time.

"One day we'll make it up to the surface. And then we can eat as much as we want!" Isabel said with a chuckle.

"The surface would be amazing... but I'd be happy with some other, easier things, too." Y/N sighed. Levi glanced at her, tilting his head, as if he was debating whether he should ask her about it or not.

"What would those things be?" he finally wanted to know. Y/N shrugged. It felt kind of silly to admit like this, but...

"I want my uncle dead. And I want the books back that the clergy stole from my parents." she replied.

"Well, technically your parents stole them from the church first..." Farlan started, but quickly got a lethal glare from Levi.

"Technically the church shouldn't be hogging all the knowledge about the walls and the outside world, anyway." Y/N countered. She was 100% convinced of that. Everyone deserved to know what they were facing, didn't they? Why should only clergy know about all that? Why should they send out the survey corps all the time if they were going to return without proper results when they had all that knowledge written down in books already? It made no sense to her.

"Why didn't you just join the clergy then, if you were so hot on knowing all those secrets?" Isabel asked. She seemed genuinely curious about it. Y/N sighed and shook her head quickly.

"What, become a nun?" she replied. Farlan almost spit out his drink as he started laughing loudly.

"Sorry, Y/N, but the last thing I could imagine you as would be a nun..." he chuckled. Y/N snickered quietly and shook her head. No, joining the church just to learn those secrets wasn't for her. Absolutely not. Plus, as a woman, she probably would never get far enough in the church to learn everything there was to know. And everything was what she wanted to know.

"I can't imagine myself as a nun, Farlan. That would be fucked up..." Y/N said with a quiet laugh. It was nice to joke about stuff like this, but the thing was that she was absolutely serious. She wanted her uncle dead, so she'd never have to see him again and she wanted those books that her parents had to die for back. She'd give anything to know what was inside them.

"You absolutely sure about killing your uncle?" Levi suddenly chimed in, a gloomy look on his face. Y/N grimaced. Levi should know better than anyone else how much she hated her uncle. He knew what had happened all those years, what he had done to her. How could he insinuate she might not be serious about it?

"Of course. I'm absolutely certain. You should know, Levi." she replied. Levi gave her a long, grave look, before he sighed and nodded slowly and went back to his tea, a gloomy expression on his face. He looked like he was lost in thought and Y/N was about to start worrying what he might be up to, when Farlan snapped her back to reality and distracted her from Levi.

"Why do you hate that guy so much? He seems pretty okay to me, honestly." he said. Isabel nodded along.

"Yeah, he seems great fun." she added. Y/N saw Levi's expression darken across the table. She sighed.

"He seems nice on the surface, but once you get below that level he is a terrible person. I've lived with him long enough to know. Trust me, he is not a good guy. I wish he had never existed and I wish he could just stop existing." she explained. Isabel nodded slowly, but Y/N doubted that she understood. Or maybe she did - Isabel always seemed so upbeat, but often it also looked like she was just putting on a show to mask that she was scared and terrified. Like all of them.

"I see. How bad was it?" Farlan wanted to know, his expression softening. Y/N buried her face in her hands for a few seconds, so she could answer calmly and without bursting into tears.

"It was like being dragged through hell and back. It still is like that. He thinks he can control me and he tries all the damn time to get mixed up in my life and when he's drunk he... he's just a horrible person. Let's not talk about that anymore." she tried to explain. No one except Levi knew about what was happening.

"I'm sure we can manage to get him killed somehow..." Levi mumbled. Y/N shrugged. She was never really sure whether Levi was serious about something or not, but she was pretty certain he was just saying that right now.

"Possibly? But at this point it might not even be worth it anymore. He's getting old and he's getting involved in shady bullshit and I'm sure he'll bite the grass soon enough. No point risking trouble for a low-life like him." she replied with a shrug. If he just died this very instant, Y/N would be pretty happy, but she didn't want anyone risking their life (or however little freedom they had down here) just to get rid of that nuisance. And that was what he was at this point.

Y/N had gotten too used to it all over the years. It would have been a real lifesaver when she was still a child, right after her parents died. But now? Was there even anything left to save right now? Y/N wasn't sure. She didn't want to think about it, not when she was having a nice meal.

"No one's getting into trouble for getting rid of a nuisance." Levi just said, before getting back to his tea again. Y/N figured now she could just dig into her food and eat it quickly. The conversation was going in a direction that she didn't much enjoy and it was making the food taste less good. Plus, she was really hungry after all this training. She couldn't let the food get cold either.

"Woah, did your appetite hit you all of a sudden?" Farlan asked with a grin. Y/N just shrugged, not giving an answer. She couldn't answer him, since her mouth was full of food anyway.