𝚂𝚃𝙴𝙰𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝙴𝙲𝚁𝙴𝚃𝚂

23

Y/N was looking up at the stars wistfully. She had always enjoyed sitting down here and looking up at the small bit of sky that they could see from here, thinking about how much more there had to be out there. Especially now that she knew that there was so much more to the world than whatever was inside these walls. She knew how much more there was out there and how terrifying it was and how much she'd still love to see it all. But she knew she never would.

Y/N wasn't sure what it was, but something inside her was telling her that this was the last time she would be seeing Levi. She could see the military police officers following her around, probably waiting for a good moment to catch her alone and in her own house so they could kill her without being disturbed. She knew that she wouldn't be alive for much longer anymore.

She somehow had to tell Levi to stay away from her for a while. If he got caught up in this she wouldn't be able to forgive herself. She wanted him to stay alive. She wanted him to live a long life and a life that was as happy as it could be down here. Hell, if she could get him access to a life on the surface by sacrificing herself, she would do it without hesitation. She was ready to die for him.

Of course what she was doing soon wasn't dying for him. Not exactly anyway. She was dying for herself, mostly. She was dying because she had made a dumb mistake and because she didn't listen to Levi. She was dying for finding out what her parents died for. She was going to die for the same thing. And she was probably going to die in a very similar way. It would be painful. Very, very painful.

The image of their dead bodies came into Y/N's mind and she felt sick for a while. She could remember it so vividly as if it had happened yesterday - the smell, the blood that was smeared everywhere, the people that were there standing around and trying to tidy up the scene somewhat, her uncle's heavy hand on her shoulder, as he was getting her away from that place and the deafening scream she had let out as soon as she had realized what was really going on.

She tried to shake the image out of her head. Now was not the time to think about something like this. Now was the time to try and enjoy whatever last moments she was going to have with Levi. Now was the time to tell him how much she actually loved him and how much she cared about him. If she wasn't going to tell him now, she was afraid there would be no second chances for any of this. And she at least wanted to get this off her chest, if she didn't get everything else off her chest.

She leaned back, still looking at the stars, listening to the echoing footsteps that were still a good while away. That had to be Levi. Y/N really hoped that it would be him, but she couldn't really be sure, obviously. It could be anyone, really, but there were only very few people that really knew this place. Levi was one of them. Two other people she knew of were Isabel and Farlan. And then it could always be the military police, if they had been following any of them around much earlier than Y/N had realized. After all, they had all been down in this part of the cave a lot.

Y/N shivered a little at the thought that this might be the sound of the footsteps of the military police. It was an unsettling thought - that they had been following her around for so long, that they knew everything that had happened down in this cave, that they were being watched even in all those moments when they were just having a good time among friends. She really hoped that was not the case. It would feel like the entire memory of her life had been tainted.

"You're looking pretty lonely out there." she heard a voice, after she had listened to the footsteps coming closer and closer. She knew by then that it was definitely Levi - she knew the sound of his footsteps too well. He was probably standing at the end of one of the tunnels that led here, looking down at her. She turned around to confirm her suspicions and smiled at him lazily.

"Well, it seems like I'm about to have some company." she replied. Levi huffed in an amused tone and walked up to her, sitting down next to her. Y/N lay down on her back, looking up at Levi and taking in every detail of his features. She wanted to commit him to memory as much as possible.

"So what did you want to tell me? And why couldn't you tell me in your house?" he wanted to know, watching her carefully, his eyes wandering over her body slowly, before returning to her face.

"Look, I... I think I just wanted the right atmosphere, that's all." Y/N said to him, hoping he wouldn't catch onto the fact that this wasn't technically the truth. He seemed to be buying it anyway, whether he was just doing it to keep the peace between them or whether he truly believed her.

"Okay. Atmosphere for what? You're not going to propose to me or something, are you?" he asked with a slightly nervous chuckle. He was joking, that much was clear, but there was also a hint of him thinking that it was a legitimate possibility that Y/N was going to propose to him. She laughed and shook her head.

"No. No, not quite. You'd say no just to spite me anyway." she replied, still laughing. Levi chuckled and looked up at the stars.

"I don't know, maybe I would say yes, just to be unpredictable." he countered and Y/N laughed even more. Marrying someone out of spite seemed like a very Levi thing to do, if she was honest.

"Alright, alright. Well, I'm afraid I'll have to disappoint you. It's not quite a proposal. I just... I just wanted to let you know that I... that I care about you. A lot." she told him. She could feel herself blushing violently as she said it. It was always clear that they both cared for each other a lot, but they had never actually expressed any of those feelings and the words coming out of Y/N's mouth felt very foreign and at the same time very right to her. She wasn't sure what to make of it.

"Okay... I care about you a lot, too, obviously. What exactly are you trying to get at?" he wanted to know.

"I think I love you." she blurted out. Levi raised an eyebrow, his face looking somewhat amused at this.

"You think?"
"No, I... I don't think. I do love you. That's what I wanted to say." she replied, sighing and then chuckling. She couldn't believe how much she had messed this up. But it didn't matter anyway, because Levi wouldn't really care about something like that and she also would probably die soon.

"I love you, too. Glad it's finally out in the open." Levi answered and lay down beside her, pulling her into his arms so her head was resting against his chest. Y/N nodded slightly, feeling warm and fuzzy inside and not even really registering what Levi had just told her so nonchalantly.

"Yeah, me too... wait, what?" she replied, only now realizing that he had just straight out told her he loved her. Or maybe she had just imagined that. She must have imagined that, right? Levi didn't say things like that.

"Why are you so surprised? I thought it was pretty clear." Levi said, not even letting go of her. Y/N shrugged.

"I don't know... I guess I just wasn't really expecting it. Which doesn't mean I'm unhappy about it or anything, I just... I wasn't expecting it. But I'm glad that you feel the same way." she replied. Levi gently kissed the top of her head - thankfully a part of her body that didn't constantly hurt.

"There is another thing..." she mumbled against his chest. She hated that she had to tell him this, because it just sounded so wrong, but... it was for his own good. She really hoped he would listen to her.

"What is it?"

"After tonight... After tonight, don't come and see me for... maybe a few days. Okay? Trust me on this, please. I can't tell you why, but it's really important."

Levi gave her a strange look, before nodding.

"Okay."