𝚂𝚃𝙴𝙰𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝙴𝙲𝚁𝙴𝚃𝚂

19

Y/N was more paranoid than ever before. She was waiting in a dark side street, wrapped in a long black coat that made her look much bulkier than she actually was. She had the book wrapped in several layers of paper, carrying it under her coat and under her blouse, hoping it was hidden well enough. She hated having to go outside to do her deals like this, but having buyers come to her house was way too risky at the moment. MPs might be following them and if they saw several people walk into her house and come out with books, it would be too obvious.

So she had to do her business in some shady side streets, hoping that the military police weren't going to follow her around. She hadn't noticed anyone today, but Y/N knew that she could never be 100% sure. She felt like she was constantly being watched or followed, like every person she met might rat her out and get her arrested.

Not that the military police would even care about arresting her and giving her a fair trial first. She had seen it often enough. She had seen it with her own parents. When it came to people living underground, they didn't care. Everyone thought that they were criminal scum anyway. The worst of the worst. It wouldn't be any different for her. They would just straight up slaughter her. If they needed to get rid of her, they'd make a bloodbath out of it. Mostly as an example to anyone else who tried stealing from them. Not that it actually had any effect. Hunger had a much bigger effect on what people down here decided to do and it was usually to steal from the ones that had way more food than they needed. They didn't want to be thieves, but how else were they supposed to survive?

And Y/N was much worse than those poor souls. She didn't necessarily need books to survive. She needed them to sell them on, that was her job, but having books down here was a luxury, especially when it came to forbidden books. She was providing a luxury service that no one really needed to survive. She was choosing a life of crime and living in the shadows.

Y/N was sure that that meant the military police would have even less mercy on her. Why would they care what happened to her? Why would they feel sorry for her? She wasn't starving and stealing some food. She was stealing books - powerful books, books that were probably keeping the king and the royal family in power. Books that were definitely keeping the clergy in power.

Y/N looked around. There was still no one in sight. She really hoped that this wasn't going to be a trap. She didn't think that it would be one. The man she was selling to had been buying books from her parents before her and she had known him since she was a little girl. She knew that he wouldn't talk to the MP. But of course all of that could change. If they had something on him or if they were paying him well enough, he might switch to their side. Y/N didn't have that luxury.

She only had her books to provide and she had to hope that other people were trustworthy enough. It made her feel miserable, especially now that she had to get rid of a lot of books in a relatively short time to be able to afford getting out of the underground and starting new somewhere else. She'd have to get so many fake documents... she'd have to get citizenship papers, she'd have to bribe the MP officers at the stairs, she'd have to somehow find a place to live...

It seemed like an overwhelmingly big task and Y/N had no idea how to even start with it. It seemed hopeless, too, because she'd have to somehow make it all the way to Wall Rose or even better to Wall Maria. If she stayed anywhere near Wall Sheena, someone would recognize her and she'd still be killed. Out in Wall Maria, she might have a shot at having a somewhat normal life. If she could manage to make it that far, even. And then she would be closer to the Titans as well.

No matter how much she learned about them, they still scared her. There were a few drawings in some of the books and they just looked so bizarre and unnatural... it seemed like one of the most terrifying things Y/N had ever read about. Not that she had ever seen an actual Titan in person before. Living underground that thankfully never happened. But if she was somewhere near Wall Maria... well, she might see some of them. Sure, the walls had been fine for God knows how long, but... Y/N wasn't going to trust that. Surely, at some point life would either return to normal without being locked in walls or the Titans would breach the wall.

But that was something she could think about any other day. Right now, there was a dark figure approaching her. Y/N was tense, watching the figure, until she finally recognized the stature of the man. It was her buyer. She breathed a sigh of relief as he was approaching her, leaning against the wall casually. Y/N wondered why he had been so late, but it didn't matter now. He was here and she needed to get rid of the book and she needed the money. Now.

"Sorry, I was held up a little in the market. You got what I asked for?" he wanted to know. Y/N nodded quickly, looking around herself, before mustering him. He was looking quite nervous, but also a little smug. Y/N didn't want to ask what was holding him up. She felt like she didn't want to know.

"I've got it all right here. You got the money?" Y/N asked. The man nodded and produced a pouch full of coins from somewhere under his coat. He handed it to Y/N who held it for a few seconds. It felt heavy enough to be the right value and for the coins not to be fake. She opened the pouch and carefully inspected one of the coins. Real. Definitely real enough to convince anyone.

"Come on, I've been a good customer for years! Did you ever have any cause for complaint against me?" he asked with a little laugh. Y/N smiled and shook her head, stowing the money away.

"No, I haven't. I know you're honest, but better safe than sorry." she answered and looked around them again to see whether anyone was watching. It still looked pretty good for them. Her eyes went back to him.

"Well? You got it?" he wanted to know impatiently. Y/N nodded and pulled the wrapped up book from underneath her blouse and her coat, before handing it to him. He glanced at it and nodded with a smile, before hiding it under his pullover. He pulled his head down into his face again until Y/N could only make out his sly smile. It sent shivers down her spine for some reason.

"Perfect. Thanks. It's been great doing business with you, as usual." he replied and made his way back towards one of the main streets. Y/N watched him leaving, wondering if she should follow him to make sure he wasn't going to rat her out to some random military police officers. It would probably make her sleep easier at night... but then again she also had to have a little trust in the community.

Underground citizens weren't really that disloyal. Sure, most people were looking out for their own interest, but when it came to the military police then everyone seemed to be standing against them united. Everyone, but a select few, but those people usually weren't very popular in the underground.

Y/N took a deep breath, deciding she was way better off going back home her own way. She had a lot of reading to do and it seemed to become interesting just before she went out to meet that customer. She desperately wanted to continue reading and she didn't have the nerve to worry about the military police. If they had anything on her, they would come after her, anyway. No point in trying to hide for now. Still, to Y/N it felt like they were just waiting for a slip-up on her side.

As soon as she'd make a mistake, everything would be over for her and Y/N really didn't like that. She was so worn down already, that making a mistake was just a question of time. She was exhausted and tired from constantly being on her guard, from being so paranoid all the time. It felt like torture. But she had to somehow struggle through it by herself. Because she hadn't seen Levi in ages.