Treat you better | BSD

Love and rage

Chuuya returned home, carefully folded up dazai's scarf and put it in a bag. He sat on the sofa for a long time, thinking nothing, and stood up until he felt a little cold.

It was much cold when there was no partner in the house regardless of the high temperature controlled by air conditioner. He covered himself tightly in the quilt, and fell into sleep soon.

Chuuya suddenly woke with a start in the middle of the night, and saw the ceiling lamp still shining brightly in the bedroom, while it was still heavy dark outside. He looked at the time and realized he had only slept for less than half an hour. But now he couldn't sleep and felt much more miserable when he was awake. He really couldn't help wanting to hear the voice of fyodor.

It was about 5:00 pm in France, so it might not bother him... chuuya was very patient and tapped the numbers one by one with his finger. Even though fyodor's number had already been added in the Contacts, typing all numbers seemed much more official and sincerer, as he used to do.

The phone rang a few times. The man answered in a low voice, seemingly a little bit gentle, "Do you still remember to call me?"

Chuuya holding the phone became silent for a few seconds. He used to call fyodor very often in the beginning, but later, everything changed. They had nothing to say, and often got stuck in pique and sullenness with no reason. Since one ignored the other, the other also would not talk to that one. Now it was normal that they didn't call each other for half a month.

"I miss you," chuuya suppressed his sadness and said without any hesitation. In the few seconds, he seemed to spend several years.

Fyodor got stunned. It had been a long time since he heard chuuya say that. Moreover, he heard a hint of whimper from chuuya's three words. It seemed to be true, also like an illusion.

"I miss you, too. I am busy these days and when I'm available, I am afraid to disturb your rest. I will try to get the work done quickly and go home to accompany you as soon as possible," the other said softly, but guilty in heart.

Chuuya was not stupid. Any splendid excuses were just to conceal the fact that fyodor didn't pay much attention to him. There was no message from fyodor. The man was in France, a romantic country, so far away from the ginger, with a man he liked. Chuuya could imagine that how happy fyodor was now. It was normal to have much enjoyment and forget to go back home. As for chuuya, he just tortured himself in the dark night.

He pressed his lips lightly and replied in his throat.

He was thinking what to say, but heard a faint voice on the phone, "Fyodor san... how can you keep talking for such a long time? The dishes are getting cold..."

Saying in a spoiled tone and a clear voice, the man on the other side of the phone seemed impatient.

Chuuya's face was getting pale, and he inferred that fyodor might spoil that man very much. Even chuuya didn't try to disturb fyodor's phone before.

It suddenly became quiet on that side, and there was no noise at all.

He tried to stabilize his tone, as he was not trying to make fyodor feel embarrassed. "It's so cold in Beijing now. When you come back, just call me. I can pick you up at the airport."

"Oh, dear, I love you most."

Chuuya smiled and yawned, "Okay, you have to do your own business. I am sleepy."

Fyodor said good night in a gentle voice.

Chuuya had a sleepless night, and his heart was hurt as if cut out by a blunt knife. After midnight, he was wandering in the house aimlessly, but did not know what he was looking for. Finally, he was tired and sat on the cold floor of the living room, crying like a child who lost the whole world. Chuuya bit his lips, and the thin shoulders trembled. He cried and stuck the heating pad on his chest. Only by the heating pad, would his heart not freeze.