𝐞𝐧𝐡𝐲𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭𝐬

n. riki : the beach ( a , f )

wc : 2.3k
note : this is part ii of leaving tonight, but you can read it alone if you wish

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if i told you that i loved you, tell me, what would you say?

eventually, you did learn why he had done it. why he disappeared completely from your life. nishimura riki had gone to participate on a survival show, pursuing his dreams of becoming an idol.

you could remember all the times he had expressed his love for dancing and being on a stage. so, when your mom had told you he had made it in the final debut line-up, you had so many mixed emotions. a sense of pride, yes, but that was soon overcome by agony when you realized that you weren't present in his life anymore. you couldn't congratulate him or even tell him how proud you were of him. not anymore. not after you had ruined your relationship with him.

i'm sick, and i'm tired too

in the first few months without him, to say you were miserable was an understatement. until then, you had never realized how much you relied on him as your only close friend. you didn't go out anymore, let alone try to speak to anyone else at school. no one could replace the empty feeling niki had left you with when he had abandoned you and gone to south korea.

but, as time went on, you had learned to accept what had happened, whether you liked it or not. he wasn't coming back, and you needed to allow yourself to succumb to that truth.

if i told you that i hated you, would you go away?

a year after niki had left and made his dreams a reality, you had done what past you had thought impossible; you left the memory of him behind.

with the beginning of a new school year, you were able to make new friends. you went out again, taking the time to enjoy what life gave you and ignoring what it took. so, after a long day out with friends, legs sore from walking around for hours, and hands full of carnival prizes, the smile on your face faltered when you saw the foreign car parked in your driveway.

"who's that?" your friend asked, pointing at the black vehicle.

you shook your head, starting towards your house again. "i don't know. i'll fill you in later, though."

she nodded before waving goodbye, watching to make sure you made it through the front house before continuing on to her own home just down the street.

you make me feel little how you're looking at me

"mom?! i'm home!" you called as you shut the door behind you and slipping your tennis shoes off at the door. dumping the small trinkets near your shoes, you repeated yourself. "mom?"

you heard shuffling and hushed voices before your mom answered, "in the living room, honey!"

wearing a look of skepticism, you approached your living room, expression faltering when you stepped on the carpet. you don't know where to look first; at your mom or the blond boy sharing a loveseat with his mom.

"what are you doing here?" the words came out harsher than intended, but you didn't care as you looked at nishimura riki with repulsion.

when he locked eyes with you, though, you couldn't help but feel small under his gaze. he was different. much different than when you last saw him.

your mother said your name sternly, making you snap your attention to her, quickly mumbling an apology. to whom, exactly, you weren't sure.

niki stood from his spot, and it was then that you saw just how tall he had become. it made you take a step back.