a dumbass gets isekai'd: the novella

1. a wack fever dream...or is it?

Yuu woke up, unfortunately. They had vague memories of Oliver, a hand in a mirror, and a voice in the background, talking about who knows what. Then, suddenly they were fighting this ginormous monster alone. Was it all a dream? Well, that's gonna haunt them for the next few weeks. At least the dream was more concise than the other ones they've had in the past. Looking around, they couldn't see a thing. It seemed to be nighttime. Even so, Yuu didn't remember their room being this dark. They sat up to find the lightswitch, but they instead hit their head on the ceiling.

"Motherfu-!"

They laid down once again, now rubbing their throbbing head. What the hell? When was their ceiling so low? Was the sky falling? They reached out a hand and groped around in the darkness, and felt a surface a short distance from them.

"Well now, what in tarnation did I get myself into? 🤠"

They brought their hand down, feeling walls. They were in some kind of...box.
Then it clicked.

"Wait a damn minute, am I in a coffin????"

After that realization, they begin freaking out, because well, you don't simply awaken in a coffin for no reason.

BITCH I'M GONNA GET BURIED ALIVE- EITHER THAT OR I'LL GET CREMATED LIKE A CHICKEN POT PIE!!!

They pushed on the coffin lid, but it wouldn't budge. Just their luck. Welp, time to accept the sweet release of death. That was, until they heard a door slamming open.

Has someone come to get me out? Oh my god, thank the stars. Wait, what if they're coming to carry my coffin to my grave? SHIT-

Fists aggressively banged on the lid, in hopes that whoever was outside realizes that Yuu was in fact, not dead. That was when they heard a voice speak.

"Crap, people are coming. Gotta get a uniform!"

Who tf is that? What do they mean by uniform...and how many packs of cigarettes do they have every day, god damn.

"Grr, the lid is too heavy! Guahaha...time for my secret move!! Huaaaaaaa-"

A secret move? What're they gonna do, hame hame ha the lid off or somethi-

"THERE!"

*FWOOSH*

You heard the sound of flames. Through the cracks of the lid, you could see a blue light.

OK SO THAT IS WHAT THEY'RE GONNA DO-

The crackling of fire got louder and louder. Yuu could feel the warmth from outside of the coffin.

"I'm dead as hell I'm dead as hell I'm dead as hell I'm dead as hell"

Suddenly, light! Light the color of lilac and grass fields filled the room, the bright hues dancing around the small spa- nah it just blinded our poor mc. Shielding their eyes as to not ruin their vision even more then they have already done from the hours they spend browsing the internet, they slowly got up. The charred coffin lid fell off with a clatter.
Their eyes scanned the room, which was... unusual to say the least. There were coffins everywhere, including the one they woke up in.

"Hehe, now I can- FNGAAAA! Why are you up!?"

Wait, is that a cat? They were now staring at the cat...thing.

The creature's fur was a dark grey, but the unusual parts were its pitchfork-like tail and flaming ears. Was this even a cat? Which circle of hell did it come from?!

"What breed of cat are you??"

"Oi, I'm no cat!!"

Okay, touchy subject...wait did the cat just talk????

"I am the great Grim! Well whatever, HEY, human! Hurry and gimmie your clothes!"

Dang, at least take me out to dinner first 🙄🤚

"Otherwise... I'll roast ya!"

wait what 😀

Yuu raised an eyebrow at the animal, now known as Grim. Why did it want with their clothes? Surely... it didn't want to WEAR them right? They weren't wearing anything special, or so they thought. They looked down and saw that they were wearing a robe, with gold embroidery on the sleeves. When was this in their closet? They looked back up at Grim, who was beginning to grow impatient. Yuu put a hand on their hip and smiled teasingly at the demon cat.
At this point, they were convinced that this whole thing was just a fever dream. There was no way any of it was real. Weird ass clothes, floating coffins, a cat on fire, there was no logical explanation for any of this. So they got a lil cocky, since it was a dream there was no way they could get hurt right? Oh boy, was that a mistake.

"I think my clothes are a tad too big for you little man. Maybe take a look at the baby section?"

"H E H?"

An offended look crossed Grim's face. They were supposed to be cowering in fear! How dare they disrespect the great Grim like this! He will not be slandered! >:0

Grim stomped and yelled at Yuu, they really had the audacity to call him little. Meanwhile, Yuu was extremely amused.

DSFFGHJJJJKL LOOK AT EM STOMPING HIS LITTLE FEETSIES-

Their enjoyment was short lived when flames erupted around the room.

"O o p, gotta go 🏃🏃🏃🏃"

And with that, Yuu blasted out the room, faster than Usain Bolt. Sonic the Hedgehog could kiss their ass. They z o o m e d through the door and down the hallway of the building, getting lost in some mansion was probably a better fate than being burnt alive. They snickered as they heard the faint, screechy screams of the little arsonist behind them. After running in and out of several rooms and running across a large courtyard, they found themselves in a library and stopped to catch their breath.