𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐦𝐞 (Remington Leith story)

bars and stars

Remington's POV:

I was out drinking in a bar with a couple friends, we were at the grey space pub. I was wearing a black shirt and black ripped jeans with my doc Martians, to go with it I had on my padlock chain and a couple more chains over it. my black shirt was un buttoned, they way I liked it. tattoos littered my chest, 

"I want to make a toast" I said in a posh voice, James and Steve smiled and cheered for me. I stood up and held my shot glass full with vodka and cola "Derek, I may be the biggest dick to you but I love you with all my heart.. that's if I had one" I mumble, Derek smiled. "now I remember in high school, you'd be at the dance and no girls wanted to dance with you. I gave up my date and danced with you so you wouldn't be alone.. even though I couldn't dance to save myself, yet here you are with the hottest girl in the room" my friends laughed and held their shot glasses in the air. "to Derek, and his date" I downed the shot and put the glass on the table. 

"I wish to make a toast too" James said slurring his words. "remington, every time you came round to my house the first thing you did was pull of your shirt and run around the house, yet here you are in a bar with your shirt open and getting drunk with us. nothing has changed there" I laughed and gave James a hug. "thanks man" I smile. as we order more drinks the less I felt numb, voices In my head surrounded me, I pushed them down and ignored them, it was hard trying to ignore my demons but the only way I learned to mute them was harming myself. 

"hey handsome" I was snapped from my thoughts by a random drunken girl on my lap, she rested her head on my bare chest, I got a bit uncomfortable since I didn't know this girl nor have I see her before. "your cute" she slurred. "thanks doll?" I say in confusion. she stood up and smiled at me, she took my hand and pulled me close to her. "follow me" this sent a shiver up my spine. "go get her rem!" the boys cheered, I finish my drink and follow her to where ever she was leading me to. she led me to the cleaning supply closet and closed the door behind her, she pushed me up against the door and started leaving sloppy kisses on my neck. 

I just stood there not knowing what to do or how to react for that matter. the girl started nibbling on my skin and make me cringe at the feeling. the girl took my shirt off but when she put it on the ground I grabbed her wrist and flipped us around so  she was facing me "oh come on I was just having fun" she smiled. "you didn't ask me if this was okay, and I have a girlfriend" I growl. "I'm s- sorry" she lowered her voice into a quiet whisper. I smirk, I tap her cheek and picked up my shirt, I put it on and walk out the closet. "dam remington" James said with a smirk "oh shut up, she tried to get with me.. but I didn't let her and just told her to fuck off" I take two more shots and slam the glasses down on the table. after that I blacked out.

~the next again morning~

I felt numb. demons raced my head, my head was pounding from the amount of alcohol I consumed last night. heck I don't remember much from lasts night event, all I remember was giving a speech about Derek. I groaned in pain and held my head trying to get the pain to stop. "they always use you for your looks remington, you never learn" the voice says harshly. "shut up, what do you know" I get up out of my bed and walk to my bathroom and grab my razor, I cut my skin a little bit just to mute my demons. once I felt relived I cleaned my wrist and got ready for another meaningless day of living. I grabbed my phone from the kitchen counter and texted scarlett.

"hey babe, are you okay?" - me 

                                       "yea im okay just watching Netflix" - scarlett

"oh cool, have fun :)"

                                       "you too hun x"

I left it at that and put my ear buds in and grabbed my keys, I walked out my apartment and walked to my special location. I call it the 'heaven spot'. rain had came down on me and soaked my body but when i got close to a busy road cars race past me. I put one foot down on the road, my heart was beating rapidly but then I saw Scarlett dancing about in the rain making her happy. "you wont need to live another day rem, do it, get a car to hit you, Scarlett wont miss you" the voice spoke deeply. tears dripped onto the floor. I stepped one foot out again but I saw Scarlett  wave at me softly across from the road, she also had a frown on her face. I couldn't do it, I didn't want this to be the end. I felt some sort of deep love for her even though she would probably use me in the future. once the road was clear I sprinted over to Scarlett and hug her tightly never wanting to let go. "I'm sorry I'm worthless" I cried into her chest. "your not worthless rem you'll never be worthless to me, ever." she said playing with my hair. "but what if I am Scarlett" she let out a sigh. 

"if I wanted to go on a date with you and have a nice time with you like a girlfriend should do you think I would have thought you were worthless" she said making a very good point. "no" I said whipping my tears. "exactly" she faced me and kissed my forehead. "can.. can I come stay with you, my house is eight miles away" "sure!" Scarlett took my hand softly and invited me into her house, which wasn't very far it was only two blocks away. "you can sleep in my guest room and borrow my brothers clothes" I smiled but then it quickly faded. "here" she handed me the clothes and smiled. "thank you Scarlett" I gave her a kiss on the cheek and get ready for bed, once I put on the dry clothes I leave my wet ones folded neatly on the floor. I climb into the bed and shiver a little since it was cold, but I got used to it and fall asleep soundly.