Bob's Burgers - Sophie Belcher

Sexy Dance Fighting

"She's pubing out right now."

That's the first thing I hear when I set foot in the restaurant. Through the hatch between the kitchen and the restaurant, I see Tina lying on the ground like a starfish. 

"Jordan Sturman moved away, and now I'll never play kickball with him again", Tina whines, looking like her whole world had collapsed before her.

"Oh, you should kill yourself." I hear Louise tell Tina. At the sound of Gene agreeing with her, I quickly walked through the doorway to the kitchen and slapped them around the back of their heads. 

"Never say that again. It's a horrid thing to say."

"Gene and Louise, be nice," Mum demanded, looking at them angrily. 

'Oh, well done, mum,' I thought, 'What a great way to punish them for what they've just said. Just tell them to be nice, and it'll sort everything.' 

"You're gonna go through adolescence, too, you know," I smirk as I hear Gene and Louise talk over each other in disgust over puberty.

"You can't hurt me." Tina cried, "I'm already dead." 

"Can I have your moustache, then?" I ask her jokingly, trying to lighten up the mood of the room. 

"It's only one hair," Tina answers, groaning slightly.

"It's the beginning of a great thing," Mum beamed while Gene, Louise, and I were too busy trying to find ways of getting Tina's hair out. 

"It's a huge hair," Gene said, still trying to reach his hands out to try and tug the long hair. 

"I can't cut it," Tina admitted sadly. 

"You could always tweeze it?" I hinted, hoping she would decide what she wanted to do with it before I died of boredom.

"It's beautiful; leave her alone," Mum informed us, hoping to get us to stop, although that would never happen.

"You're beautiful, Tina." Dad chimes into the conversation before withdrawing to check on the produce for the day's burgers.

"Let me pull it out," Gene demands, walking closer to Tina so that he was barely thirty centimetres away from her,

"Let me put my foot on your chest," he continues, placing his foot on her chest, grabbing hold of her moustache hair, and pulling hard.

"Gene, get off. Enough." I demand, grabbing hold of Gene and lightly forcing him off Tina. I then take both him and Louise out of the kitchen and leave them by the stools before taking my hands off of their arms. 

"Come on, Gene," Louise commanded, retaking hold of Genes' arm. Let's go have a childhood." As they left, however, Louise grabbed my arm and dragged me outside with them. I was along for the ride.

A few hours later, Gene, Louise, and I re-enter the restaurant, searching for Tina.

"Tina, we just saw the most amazing thing ever," Louise exclaims as we walk back into the restaurant and see Tina standing behind the grill in the kitchen. 

"This might be the best day of my life, besides the day you kids were born, of course," I joked, earning laughs from Gene and Louise and a scathing look from Dad.

"Words can't explain this. You have to see it." Louise urges, trying to get Tina to follow her out of the door

"Come with us. Come on, Tina!" 

"I can't. Dad won't let me leave work..." Tina murmurs, looking towards Dad, who is preoccupied with chopping up tomatoes for a burger that no one wanted since the restaurant was empty.