The Forbearance Wife

Chapter 5

AFTER that incident, hindi na ako nakapag paalam sa mga ka-batchmate ko dahil umuwi na agad kami. Hindi ko kakayanin kapag nagalit pa si Lyle kapag hindi ako sumama sa kaniya pauwi ng Manila.

Criza was very worried that night. Ilang araw din niya akong paulit-ulit na tinawagan pero wala akong lakas para sumagot ng anumang tawag. Lyle on the other hand became more aggressive and colder. Mas lalo kong naramdaman ang pagiging-distant nito.

Kung dati ay sumasabay pa siya kumain ng breakfast, ngayon ay hindi na. He wouldn't even eat what I cooked for him. Laging madaling araw na rin siya umuwi. Madalas naka-inom at lasing. He did even bring someone at home.

"Are you sure she's okay with this?"

Narinig ko ang boses ng babae mula sa labas ng bahay. Nakatulog na ako sa sofa kakahintay sa kaniya. I checked my phone and it's already three o'clock in the morning. Hindi ako nakarinig ng sagot mula kay Lyle pero narinig ko ang pagbukas ng pinto. Nakapatay na ang lahat ng ilaw dahil anong oras na pero kitang-kita ko ang anino ng dalawang taong pumasok sa loob.

The silhouette of two people who are intimately kissing. I close my eyes tightly and bit my lower lip to stop making noise, but I could feel tears falling down my cheeks. I don't see what they are doing but I can feel it. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang nangyayari sa paligid at ramdam ko rin kung gaano kasakit ang loob ko ngayon.

I heard some footsteps going upstairs. I let a deep and heave sigh before I finally open my eyes when I heard the door opens. Doon ko tuluyang minulat ang mata at hindi napigilan ang pagbagsak ng luha.

Mas lalo ako nasaktan nang masundan pa iyon ng ilang beses. Hindi lang isa, dalawa, o tatlo. Halos araw-araw ay iba't-ibang babae ang dinadala nito sa bahay. I would shut my eyes so that I couldn't see that he's cheating on me. Para hindi ko maramdamang harap-harapan akong niloloko at ginagago ng sariling asawa.

I would act blind and numb, but deep down inside. It is killing me; it's hurting me so much. But I don't really mind getting hurt kasi mahal ko siya, at hindi iyong magbabago.

"Tulala ka na naman. May problema ka ba?" Criza asked when she visited me here. After weeks of ignoring her, I finally contacted her and asked her to come over.

I shook my head before sipping on my coffee. Hindi ko rin alam bakit ko siya pinapunta rito. I thought that she would get mad after leaving her in Tagaytay without telling her and not accepting her calls for days.

"You know that you can always talk to me, Moriah." She spoke. Her words are just like a bomb that made me explode. I burst out crying everything to her.

I vent out all the pain that I am feeling. She was just hugging me the whole time while listening to all my rants.

"I just thought I could make this marriage work, Iza." I said while crying. I felt relieve because I manage to share everything to Criza. Kahit papaano ay gumaan ang bigat na nararamdaman ng dibdib ko.

"Gago talaga 'yon! Bakit ba nananatili ka pa rin sa kaniya, Iya? You're beautiful and smart, a lot of men are flocking to court you. You don't deserve this," she said while caressing my hair. "You deserve to be love and not to be treated like a trash, Moriah." She added. Mas lalo akong naiyak dahil sa sinabi niya.

"M-Mahal ko eh," I said and smile at her. "Mahal na mahal ko kaya okay lang sa akin kahit ganito. At pinangako ko kay Abuelo na aalagaan at . . . mamahalin ko siya." I said while sobbing.

"By sacrificing your emotional and mental state? Tangina Moriah! Walang sinong babae ang may deserve na tratuhin ng gan'to." She spoke. I can feel her angst toward him.

"B-Baka magbago pa," mahinang bulong ko.

I heard her scoff before she shook her head. Hindi makapaniwala sa sinabi ko. Kahit ganito ang trato niya, I am still hoping that one day, he would realize everything, and he would change. Umaasa akong magbabago siya at mamahalin rin ako pabalik. Na baka sakaling maging masaya din kami.