Bold With You (Densi Fanfic)

Chapter 16

Kensi POV
It's so hard to feel safe when you know your being watched. But it's so much easier to feel safe around someone you love. I'm still at Deeks's house. He wants to protect me but I want to protect him. We're driving to work but we decided not to tell the others about the letter. We just want to get on with our lives. We walk inside and put our bags down. When Eric walks out of ops onto the balcony but doesn't whistle, I know that this is going to be a personal case. He's just giving me a sympathetic look. I walk into ops, taking two stairs at a time now.
"An ex-marine was murdered." Nell says before shooting me sad glance. "Jack Harkness. Kensi's ex-fiancé."
My heart drops.
But- wait. Why? I have feelings for Deeks now. Jack left me. I got over it. I don't still love him. Do I?
For some reason my eyes are welling up with tears. I bite down on my lip to stop them coming. Before I get the chance to swallow them down I feel someone place an arm around my back. Deeks isn't really allowed to show affection here, but all I want right now is for him to pull me into a bear hug and kiss the top of my head and say 'everything'll be alright, Fern.' I sort of zone out for the rest of the briefing. I only pay attention again when Hetty is about to give us our instructions.
"Ms. Blye, may I have a word with you?" I nod and walk down into Hetty's office. She sighs. "Kensi, I have complete faith in your ability but losing someone you loved is always a very difficult thing. If you feel unable to work this case, please let me know. For the team's sake." Oh wow. She called me Kensi.
"No, no, Hetty. I'll be absolutely fine." I say a little harsher than I meant it to sound. "I mean... I'll be fine."
"If your certain, Ms. Blye." There we go. "I thought it prudent for you and Mr. Deeks to interview the family. You may be able to relate to them." Unfortunately, yes. Given that I have already lost him years ago, I will be able to relate to them. I nod and fake-smile and walk out of the building once Deeks has come down stairs. The minute no one can see us, Deeks abruptly turns to me, grabs my arm and pulls me into a hug. I wrap my arms around his body and let the one tear in my eye fall.
"We should get going, Princess." He whispers, gently. I nod into his shirt. We climb in the car, Deeks driving because because that requires focus and focus requires energy and I just don't have the capacity for either of those things right now.
"I don't know why I'm sad. He left me. I got over it. I love you now. More than I ever loved him. I just don't know why I'm sad." I sad into the air.
"Kens, there was one point in time that you loved him. He may have broken your heart, you may have gotten over it, you may not love him anymore at all yet there was a point in time that you did. As Shakespeare said himself: love is an ever-fixed mark. That's going to hurt, Princess. Maybe not as much as if you still loved him now, but it's going to hurt. And I'm here for you." He says. "Oh and I love you too."
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Hotel Echo Yankee!!! (Hey)
Yes I am so obsessed with NCIS: Los Angeles and NCIS that I decided to learn the phonetic alphabet off by heart. If you wish to know I'll put it below.
Anyway sorry I took forever to update!! I didn't necessarily want to drag this out like the Toby thing but I just wanted to sleep but I needed to update so here it is!! Short, I know.
Phonetic alphabet:
Alpha
Bravo
Charlie
Delta
Echo
Foxtrot
Golf
Hotel
India
Juliet
Kilo
Lima
Mike
November
Oscar
Papa
Quebec
Romeo
Sierra
Tango
Uniform
Victor
Whiskey
X-ray
Yankee
Zulu
Bravo Yankee Echo!!