Warrior's Heart

Chapter Twenty-Five

The next afternoon, Thorin was out with Bard in Dale, Tiriana was off playing with Gimli, and Arielle felt more restless than she had in a long time.

She found Dwalin in the Great Hall and sank onto the bench beside him. "Am I interrupting?"

He looked up from the axe blade he sharpened. "You are never interrupting, m'lady. What is on your mind?"

"I need some fresh air. Might I steal you away for a while so I might go for a walk?"

"Of course." Dwalin stood, lifting the axe to slip into the leather scabbard at his back. "Does Thorin know of this?"

"He is in Dale with Bard and as long as I'm with you, he won't mind. You and I both know he won't. He trusts you and trusts I'll be safe with you."

Dwalin didn't look too happy, but said, "I suppose ye are right. Where did you wish to walk?"

"I want to go up to Ravenhill."

Dwalin shook his head. "No, m'lady. Anywhere but Ravenhill. Why would you—"

"I need to see it again, Dwalin. I need to see it and fully put what happened there behind me."

"Why? Thorin survived. Fili and Kili survived. You survived."

"I know. But I still have nightmares about it," she confessed softly. It was the first time she'd told anyone about the terrible nightmares that plagued her ever since the Battle of the Five Armies. She woke in a cold sweat, fighting for breath, after watching Thorin run through by Azog. She woke in tears, sobbing without a sound to keep from waking Thorin. And somehow, she thought if she saw the place again, saw that Azog and Bolg were truly gone, she would sleep peacefully once more.

"Nightmares? But everything is as it should be."

"I know, but I saw him nearly die. And I relive those terrible moments almost every night." She laid her hand on his forearm, tapping her finger lightly against the iron plate covering it. "Please, I just need to see it, just need to see the peace that reigns now."

He sighed softly. "Thorin would definitely be unhappy if he knew."

"And that's why we won't tell him. I do not want to burden him with it. He still deals with his own guilt and I will not add to it."

"The two of you are so determined to protect one another, at times I think you forget you need to talk to one another about what it is you feel the other needs protecting from."

She just stared at him. "What?"

He rolled his eyes. "Tell him about the dreams. Let him tell you how sorry he is. Eventually, you—"

"Please?"

He sighed. "Very well. I only hope he doesn't kill me, when he finds out."

"You're doing nothing wrong, Dwalin."

"Then why does it feel as if I am?"

***

Arielle's belly twisted sharply and the baby kicking had nothing to do with it. As she and Dwalin stepped out onto the plain leading up to Ravenhill, a sense of nervousness coursed through her, one she hadn't felt since the last time she stood in this very spot.

She peered over her shoulder, off in the direction from which Thorin had come thundering astride a giant mountain goat, back to himself and ready for battle. Her eyes closed of their own, her lips lifting as if to receive that same kiss from him. She heard his voice, low and gruff in her ear, whispering, "I love you," before he climbed back into the saddle and raced off to face Azog.