Chapter 7 – Night by Remedios
Remedios City of Pampanga, quite far from Guagua. It's also called Lubao. I walked around that night and never went back home for a few days having my own hideout and hunting whoever people I could feed on. Rob the people I feed off drained dry and use that money to rent my own room in an apartment in an isolated place of Lubao as the only person in the entire shady deserted apartment in the neighborhood. I walked around the city those same nights, kept feeding on whoever, as I go through oblivious insanity now. There is no going back. I am slowly losing my humanity and forget even my name and just stick to the name Alucard. My entire identity was changed. I forgot who I was, except all I know is that I am a bloodthirsty demon that is damned. I walked around more and fed more. There is nothing more satisfying than but the blood of whoever I drink off. But sometimes when I go back to the shady apartment before sleeping, I see rodents swarming around my room and devour them. I am regressing to less than murder when I used to be more than a beast. I have lost my grip on reality when there was nothing to hold on to in the first place... the next thing I know I was in the mental asylum, then a man came saying I am discharged after all these long eternities that I've been trapped here against my will. It was a man who claims he is my father and I felt a strong close attachment to him as if I've met him before. I hugged him like a little child. I don't know how long it has been but I missed this feeling of... home.
I was sent home...
...
...
...
I refused to eat food, I demanded blood. They thought they lost all hope...
I woke up screaming from that terrible nightmare! Now I know what to avoid doing which is not going back home. Feeling homesick will make me lose my memories since I am mentally sick after all, cabin fever they call it. To those who have dissociative disorders like myself, once they go to a faraway place, they start creating new identities of themselves and change their names too. And forget who they were and make their fantasies into their own new reality. So now I know what to do. Good thing studying psychology on the internet was useful. Again, on 3rd March of 2021, this never ends. I walked outside the room. There was a van that stopped nearby for people to get vaccinated in this very village. That's new. The previous dream I had was in Guagua, now it's in this very village. It struck me as odd.
Father took me to get vaccinated before I could even eat. Then I got vaccinated finally. He told me I must eat first, so I did. We went back home as the workers do their peasant job. I ate, drank coffee, and smoked as I went outside. This presence seems peaceful now, back in the previous dreams the atmosphere was extremely eerie and quite chaotic I'd say. But here it's calm. I went to go to my Godmother's house in Bacolor. I walked all the way there wearing my good ol' shades. She saw me passing by and she called out my name. I lowered my sunglasses looking at her as I lowered my head as well. She welcomed me with pure hospitality. She is my mother's best friend. They often drink every day back when I was my age. I went inside and she gave me cigarettes, as far as everyone, each bloodline family tree I have who are still alive gives me lots of cigarettes and caffeine. She even gave me a Cobra energy drink. I asked her if she has Redbull instead. In fact, she does when I expect she doesn't. Expect the unexpected. She gave me Red Bull and I chugged it down while smoking. She was shocked at how I finished the entire can. I asked her how the shop was doing. She told me she's getting rich. I laughed the way she jests. I told her that I could help around, maybe she can pay me. Because I needed money. She asked me if I was willing to do so. I could go here every day and take the job for the shop here and I just get paid every day. I called my father and told him that my Godmother, Ninang Santa, her name is Santa, is giving me a job which I am willing to take, it's a merchant's job and I am good with my silver tongue of course. He lets me be as long as I get something to do outside it's no problem. He was proud in his voice too and was shocked I got a job on the first day outside.
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