The Perfect Person

XV

play crazier by taylor swift on repeat because it's a beautiful song :')

THIS TIME

When Jade was thirteen years old, her father let her go to her first sleepover, five blocks away from their house. It was okay, typical but one thing that she will always remember from that night is the book that her friend let her borrow. It was called Where the Red Ferns Grow, the book that made her bawl her eyes out and taught her many lessons, opposite of the other girls who fell asleep playing truth or dare that night. 

It was one of those books that truly opened her eyes about how cruel and unfair life is, that just like Old Dan and Little Ann, we have to sacrifice ourselves just so someone could be better because that's the right thing. Even though it would kill us on the inside, we have to. We have to accept that some stories don't end in pure bliss. 

And that's why she chose to let Perrie go, for the girl's sake because a little sacrifice can't hurt, right? But she was wrong, it does hurt a lot. It is agonizing, terrifying, and enervating to the point that taking a deep breath feels like it is burning her inside. How smiling became a laborious task and takes up every fiber of her being. It felt like hell. That doing what seemed like the right thing will cage her in a dark four-cornered room, alone and vulnerable.

"You're still here?" An annoyed voice pulled her out of her thoughts. 

She lifted her gaze away from the steps where she is sitting, "Why are you giving me away?"

"I'm not giving you away, Jade. I'm giving you back" The redhead answered, sitting beside Jade and intertwining their hands together. Still feeling the same electric shocks that Jade made her feel when they first met even though the brunette is blacked-out drunk at that time.

"What?" 

Barbie just shrugged, a small forced smile on her face, "I already told you why"

Jade scoffed, "I just don't understand. I'm here with you yet you keep pushing me away, it hurts me. Do you know that?"

"We both know you're not hurting because of that, Jade" The redhead sighed, "Perrie. Her flight is today"

"I don't care. I don't need Perrie" Lies. One after another. 

Barbie couldn't help but put her hand on her forehead, she can't believe that Jade can be this stubborn at times like this. She just wanted to hit the girl with a huge 'You're in love with Perrie, you idiot. Stop lying'.

 "Jade, you know that I love you, right?" She looked at the brown irises of the girl, memorizing the girl's deep soulful eyes because she knows that after this, Jade might not look at her the same. That after this, Jade will go to someone who she truly loves, the girl who makes her feel the way that Barbie feels towards Jade. It was unfair but when is really life fair?

Jade slowly nodded, "Then why are you giving me away?" 

"Because loving you means not being able to endure watching you slip away from your true happiness" Barbie tucked the girl's hair behind her ear, "Loving you means letting you go"

"But this is where I want to be" The girl squeezed the red head's hand, showing her the look of certainty.

Barbie faux scowled, "Jade, listen to me. You love Perrie and I want you to be happy, I want you to choose her because I'm not selfish, I don't want to be selfish" 

A tear escaped the brunette's eye, pulling the redhead and wrapping her arm's around the girl's torso, "I can't leave you. You can't lose me" she whispered.