The Perfect Person

VIII

AN UNUSUAL CHRISTMAS EVE

 Jade smiled as she watched the redhead stepped inside the bus and showed her a little wave as they started to drive away. Putting her hands inside the pocket of her sweater as she turns around and walked back to the small coffee shop near the bus stop where she's going to meet Leigh and drive to Jesy's. Sadly, Barbie isn't going to spend Christmas Eve with them to celebrate with her aunt instead. Jade doesn't know what to feel, is she supposed to be sad because she's not with the redhead or should she be happy that she kept the tradition of spending the day with Leigh and hopefully, Perrie.

This is her first Christmas with the blonde and things are awkward between them but who's fault is it? Hers. If she wasn't a coward, she would've been happy but she's not like that. She can suffer just so she can't hurt anyone.

"Let's go?" The raven-haired girl asked, handing a cup of coffee to Jade, "Why didn't you just go with your girlfriend?" She asked in curiosity, they were a new couple and it's strange that they're not spending the whole day with each other.

"Leigh, I've spent ten Christmas eves with you. It's a tradition" Jade raised a brow and held the older girl's hand as they walk to her car, "And I'm going to cook tonight" She added when she felt that her reason isn't really that convincing.

"Convince me, babe" The girl cackled, shaking her head. She knows her friend very well and Jade isn't really a good liar. She's like a kid.

"I badly want to punch you right now" Jade rolled her eyes, quickly hopping in the passenger seat, "You know she's not really my girlfriend, right?" She asked when her friend finally sat on the driver's seat.

"I don't really get it. Why didn't you just say something?" The girl asked, starting the engine and slightly glancing at the rearview mirror.

Jade rolled her eyes, here it goes again, "And what? Embarrass her? Fucking no" She doesn't know what gets into the redhead and just announced that they're together because they're not. Jade doesn't know what to say, she was like a deer caught in the headlights that she just froze and pulled the redhead into a tight hug. She doesn't want to lie and say that she loves her too because everyone knows who's the owner of her heart. 

"Do I have a say in this?" Leigh asked, she doesn't want to confuse Jade when she tried to say something. Jade is miserable enough and she can't do anything about it, "No"

The other girl nod, focusing her eyes on the road and giving the brunette some space to think. Jade never thought that after a lot of years alone and just barely living, someone else is going to need her. She was so used to only thinking about herself and Leigh helping her in everything that she does. Now, every single thing has changed, she needs to think of someone else and she's in love. How many times has she really been in love? Once? Twice? Maybe never. Perrie made her feel so different, the butterflies in the stomach and the crazy pounding of heart against her chest. The way that she just melts in the girl's touch and how her kisses send an electric shock all over her body. It felt so magical, so different. 

"I'm hurting her, Lee" She whispered, chewing on her bottom lip as she pictures how shocked and upset Perrie looked at her yesterday. The way that her perfect lips gaped and how her shoulders fell still stings Jade's heart, "I'm hurting the person I love"

"Then tell her"

Jade rolled her eyes, ignoring the girl's comment and looking at the window instead. She has wanted to tell Perrie ever since but she can't. She knows the blonde will understand and maybe make her feel better rather than expecting and waiting for Jade, who will never go back to her even if the brunette wanted to. She promised the redhead to never ever tell anyone about her condition because they'll surely react just like when Jade found out. Since then, she promised to never speak about it and just look out for the girl instead, she became her protector.