Tranquil Falls

We All Have Demons

"I think what we need," Tae said as she sat up from where she was laying on the floor of my bedroom, "is a change of scenery."

It'd been a week since my parents had found me with Finley. I'd gone over that night more times than I had wanted to with them, with Collins, with Rouche. They'd all analyzed it every way that they could, but I had managed to avoid their questions of how I met him. They'd all backed off, though none of them were trusting me completely. I didn't blame them. I'd never given a single one of them a reason to trust me.

Brody hadn't spoken to me since that night at his house. Really, he hadn't spoken to me since I had quit the team. None of them had. Tae was the only person I had a conversation with at school that wasn't trying to psychoanalyze me or talk academics. Either she didn't notice that I was being shunned or she didn't care. It was fine with me. She was a pain in the ass, but I could tolerate her.

"What do you mean?" I asked. It was dumping the snow down outside and it was a Sunday. We'd gone to my house because it was the only option. I stretched my arms over my head and then went to pull my sleeves down.

Tae put her fingers on the scars that ran up my arm. I didn't draw away as her fingers traced them slowly, pushing my sleeve up until she got to the end. She looked down at me, smiling softly.

"I've heard people talk about you at school," she said quietly before she lay down next to me. I put my hands on my stomach, staring up at the ceiling. She rested her head against my shoulder. "I've seen the way that they look at you, like you're something that's going to either break or explode at any given minute. Some of them told me that I'm wasting my time with you because you're too damaged or whatever."

I swallowed hard. "Yeah, well, I kind of am."

She shrugged, rolling over so she could prop herself up on my chest. "Nah. We've all got our demons. Some are just worse than others." She looked down, playing with the string of my hoodie. "I've seen how your friends have started to ice you out. That has to suck."

"They're not really my friends if they're pushing me out because I quit basketball."

She nodded, wrapping the string around her finger. "I..." She sighed, frowning. "That's not the only reason that I've heard."

I put an arm behind my head, resting my head against it as I looked at her. "What do you mean?"

Her face grimaced like she wished she hadn't said anything, but felt like she needed to. "It's just...people are saying that you..." She brushed a strand of hair from her face. "To put it in their words, they're saying that you fuck guys." She stopped playing with the string. "Not that I care. It's your life. That's just what they're saying."

I looked away, staring up at the ceiling. "It's not a regular thing and not something I'm overly proud of."
"You don't have to explain to me, Gatlin."

I looked at her. "I know, but I'm going to because you're the only person who isn't treating me differently even though you've seen me look like complete shit. I have only ever been with two guys and way more girls. It's not something I want to fall into the habit of doing."

She nodded, smiling softly. "Okay."

"Okay."

"So, if I say I have feelings for you, I don't have to worry about making a fool about myself?" she asked, arching an eyebrow.

"I didn't say that."

She nodded, letting go of the string. "What would you say?"

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I would say that you're probably better off not getting involved in my bullshit."