Tranquil Falls

He Always Wins

I put the pen down and stood up, picking up the candle. I knelt down in front of the cot and felt through the dust and cobwebs until my hand brushed the beer bottle. I stared down at it, the cigarette mush. I dropped it back to the floor before I stood up. On an afterthought, I stuffed the papers I'd written on into my backpack and slung it over my shoulder on my way out the door.

I walked through the woods towards where our spot had been. My time was running out if I was going to do what I had actually come to do.

I stuck my hands into the hoodie pockets, keeping my eyes open as I tramped through the woods. I had no protection on me. The trip hadn't been planned, not exactly. Truthfully, I had always known that I would end up in our spot again with the same intentions as before. When? I hadn't known. I hadn't even fully realized that was what I was going to do when I had gotten on the bus.

Now, though, I was set on it. It wouldn't be long before someone thought to check it or before Finley told them about the cabin. They'd find me. I was sure of that. I just hoped I wouldn't be able to witness it.

The stream was deeper further down from our spot, heading towards the river. It was hard to even call it a stream, to be honest. It was more of a creek. Deep enough to wade in, but not to swim in. Taylor and I had to trek further down when we'd wanted to do that.

I was shivering by the time I got to where I needed to be. There was an old rope tied to a tree branch that Taylor had put there so we could swing into the creek. I stared at the dark water as I pulled off the sweatshirt. I kicked off my shoes, then yanked my shirt over my head. I sat down on the ground to pull off my socks and then my pants. I left my boxers on. I didn't need to make it worse for anyone who found me.

I neatly piled my clothes up beside my backpack and stepped towards the bank. It wasn't the easiest place to get in. That was another reason we'd put the rope up. I sat down on the edge of the bank; my hands braced on either side of me. It was the best option. I'd tried slicing my wrists and that had taken too long. I didn't trust the rope to hold me and I knew that would be even more painful than drowning would be.

I took a deep breath, my body shaking from the cold. I closed my eyes before I slid off the bank and into the water.

My eyes shot open and my lungs screamed for air as the cold water hit me. I'd known it would be cold, but I hadn't realized just how cold it would be. I didn't let myself go to the surface. I swallowed hard and closed my eyes, getting my body to relax the best I could. I knew that fighting it would only take longer and make the feeling worse.

I tried to think about how good it would be. No one would have to worry about me anymore. My parents could go back to their life as they had before—or at least once they got through the mourning period. Gabby would get all of their attention. Brody would look out for her. Finley wouldn't have to carry around my dark secret or worry about how I was doing. Collins would get his lunch back. Rouche could help someone who actually gave two shits and liked the gross candy she kept in her office. Coach could find some other prodigy to care about.

I would be less of a liability.

My muscles were tightening up. My lungs screamed for air. I was losing the will—and ability—to fight the darkness that was starting to creep in. I'd known it was going to be quick. Just not that quick.

Something was moving around me. Fish? Did they hibernate? Maybe something else. Something that was going to eat me.

Something—no, someone—grabbed me under the arms and was pulling me towards the shore. The blackness was nearly taking over me. My body was limp.

Someone was shouting something. Hands pressing down against my chest. Something bright. More voices. More pressing. They were getting rid of the darkness that was trying to take over. I fought against them, trying to let the darkness consume me. The hands kept pressing. The people kept shouting. The brightness stayed.