Tranquil Falls

It's Him

I was out of the car before Finley had come to a complete stop. He'd insisted on stopping in front of my house and was trying to come inside with me. That was a conversation I didn't want to have with my parents. He would tell them. I knew he would. I couldn't let him. I put my hands against his chest as we stood on the sidewalk, praying that my parents wouldn't look out the window.

"I've got this, Finley. He's not here. I can't deal with telling me parents tonight," I pleaded with him. His body was tense; his jaw set as he looked at my house. "Please. This is my secret, my issue, Finley. You don't get to be the one to tell anyone."

He closed his eyes. "Gatlin, you shouldn't keep this to yourself."

"I won't," I lied. "I just can't deal with it tonight. Please. I'll call you tomorrow."

He opened his eyes and looked down at me. I didn't think he was going to let me get away with it, but he finally gave a small nod.

"Call me if you need anything at all. I don't care what time it is or what I'm doing. Call me and I will come, okay?" He cupped my face in his hands.

I nodded. "Okay," I whispered.

I pulled away from him and walked up to the house. I didn't have to look back to know that he was watching to make sure I made it safely inside.

"Hey, honey," Mom said. She was sitting on the couch with a book on her lap. Dad was watching the news. He turned down the volume as I slid my shoes off. "I thought you were staying at Brody's tonight with Taylor."

I shrugged, walking towards the stairs. "I didn't feel well, so I came home. I'm going to grab a shower and go to bed."

As I climbed the stairs, I heard Mom ask Dad quietly if there had been a cobweb in my hair. I swallowed hard, going into my room and grabbing a change of clothes. I wanted to burn the ones I had on. I wanted to burn every part of my body that he had touched. Maybe then I could feel something. Maybe I didn't want to feel something.

As the water heated up, I stood in front of the mirror, staring at the scrapes on my skin, at the bruises that were starting to form. The ones on my body were easy to hide. It was the one on my neck that was going to be hard to explain when my parents saw it.

I turned away and stepped into the shower, scrubbing my skin as the water burned it. Water and soap weren't going to wash away the filth I felt. I didn't know how I was going to face him when he came home. How was I supposed to sleep down the hall from him? How was I supposed to sit at the breakfast table and pretend that everything was the same way it always had been?

I bit back a sob as I turned the water off. I dried off, taking deep breaths as I fought to keep my emotions in check. There were times when I could fall apart, but this wasn't one. I was afraid of what I would do if I let all of the feelings I was experiencing free. It was hard enough to feel weak and dirty. Letting in the anger, the fear, the sadness, and every other emotion would destroy me.

When I opened the door to the bathroom, there were voices downstairs. I could hear someone crying. I stopped in the hallway, but couldn't make out what they were saying. I slowly walked down the stairs. My mom had sunk onto the floor, rocking back and forth as she sobbed. Dad's hand gripped the door tight enough that I could see his knuckles turning white; his posture tense.

Officer Owens had a hand on Dad's shoulder, speaking to him in a low voice. I didn't know if my dad was comprehending what was being said. He stared straight ahead. I paused, wondering if they had somehow heard about what had happened if Finley had reported it.