Guilty Pleasures

28

"AND if you've never felt your soul being torn apart; you've never loved anyone with all you heart."

As she left, her eyes had welled with tears, her steps halting to turn to see him staring at her with a similar look; one that seemed to cement this journey, this chapter coming to end.

She wanted to muster a snide smile, to walk away with her head held high in victory, but the papers that her hand gripped seemed to make the burden on her heart heavier.

She had too many regrets; too many questions and too many things to say; yet fate had seemed to decide that this was it; everything falling silent at her lips as they continued to look at each other.

She had forced herself desperately to turn around, and when she had, her eyes had closed, her lips miming the words that her heart wanted to scream.

A silent declaration of love that would remain unheard; and with that she forced her cemented feet to embrace the ending; whilst her heart cried in protest.

She had rushed home, desperately attempting and failing to rid her mind off thoughts of him whilst searching for her mother who she had then unceremoniously fallen into.

"Pallu careful Bacha. You could have gotten hurt."

Aayi paused watching her daughters crestfallen face.

"Bacha? What's wrong?" She uttered carefully.

"Aayi do you have the papers for the shop, I need to send them to a lawyer."

"Is everything okay?"

"It will be Aayi, especially now that Raghav has been written out of my destiny."

"If destiny had decided to have him in your  life Pallavi it wouldn't be over in a matter of seconds."

She paused watching her daughters face. Knowing that she didn't want to hear it.

"The keys are on my side of the bed, to open the cabinet."

"Thank you Aayi." She rushed out, her steps picking up as she turned away.

The next couple of hours for Pallavi had blurred with her mad rush to organise things from left right and centre; making sure to finalise the contract and have it sent to Raghav with the new terms and conditions engraved into the flimsily paper whilst simultaneously juggling preparations for an evening to make this day memorable for those around her; because whilst her heart was crying she still wished to see the happiness on the faces of those who she called family even when she was struggling to push that same happiness through her own veins.

She looked at herself in the mirror as she fixed her tikka into her dry partition the same partition that should have been coloured with the red of Mandaar's name.

A breathless sigh escaped her lips, as she moved her hands to attend to her dupatta instead, willing a smile to spread across her features; her heart uncooperative.

She forced herself out, signalling to Nikhil to kill the lights as she stepped forth into the limelight, her eyes fixed to the man she had hailed her father; the man she had always looked to for approval, for love, for the security as his daughter.

"Today I have called you all here to celebrate a happiness; one that we as a family have been struggling to grasp. Today that dream that happiness is in my grip. Today Baba; your dream has been fulfilled. That dream that you fought for endlessly and tirelessly; that dream that you prided your self respect on, has materialised Baba, that shop is now our shop..."

She paused seeing the wave of emotions flood the room.

"We don't owe anyone anything, any explanations any rent after 12 months, that shop will completely be ours."