Guilty Pleasures

33

"The wolf in my heart will never let the world see the lamb in my soul..."

Jaya had rushed with a sense of purpose; her hand tightly gripping the end of her sari as she ran forth; despite the clear pains that were awaking in her body as she did. Her heart was pounding vigorously; sweat amounting at her temple as she rushed up the set of steps leading to the door of the Deshmukh house; her eyes frantic and palms callous as she rung the doorbell with serious intent, not once pausing in her assault on the mechanical device till she managed a response.

Shraddha had opened the door; Jaya rushing forth to greet her with her words.

"Shraddha Ji I'm so sorry for turning up like this, but Pallavi didn't come back last night. Keerti is out looking for her but I just wanted to check with you..."

"I saw her last night Jaya Ji. She left..." her words trailed off, stepping across the doorstep that acted as the barrier that had torn her family apart, angling herself towards the small fence; Jaya's movements mirroring hers.

A gasp escaped the other woman, whilst Shraddha's eyes seemed to mist with tears.

For Pallavi Deshmukh sat, asleep, shivering lightly from the breeze.

A hand flew to her mouth to encase the sob, the anger that had awakened. For, Shraddha could not fathom as to why her daughter was suffering under the shadow of Raghav Rao the way she was.

She walked over gently jolting her child from the uncomfortable slumber she had subjected herself too, Pallavi waking up with a sharp ache at the base of her neck.

Her hand moved out to massage the skin, her eyes meeting her mother's before meeting those of Jaya's as well.

She stood up, her eyes faltering from their gaze.

"Aunty I'm so sorry I must have worried you last night. I am sorry—"

"No it's okay Bacha, as long as you're safe that was our main concern." She softly caressed the side of Pallavi's head.

"There's a car waiting there. If you want to go and get freshened up. I'll meet you back there. I just want to talk to Shraddha Ji."

"Okay." She seemed to whisper out, a longing gaze focusing on her mother before she finally turned almost lifelessly; the two mothers sharing a thoughtful look as they watched her trek down the path.

Shraddha placed a cup of chai in front of Jaya, before sipping lightly on one herself.

"I want to apologise. For what my son has done."

Shraddha passed her a half smile.

"Your son is unaware of the reality that his destruction has brought."

Jaya fixed her with a look.

"Pallavi is the widow of my son." She uttered, watching as Jaya recoiled at the information.

"What!" She spoke.

"Pallavi was widowed the same day she was married. The night of their wedding Mandaar left home for work; only to never come back. It had taken days for us to find  his body, and that poor child was forced to remove the symbols of her married identity before she could even wear them properly."

"And you've never thought about letting her move on?" Jaya questioned. "I'm a widow myself Shraddha, I know exactly what it feels like to be looked down on by society but even then I had something on my side which was time. Pallavi didn't get that."

"I've always wanted her to move on Jaya. She is meant for so much more, but through her own guilt that society had filtered through her ears. She put her own life on hold to make up for what was amiss for us. She stood like our shield, took the responsibilities of a joint family on her head to the point that I could see she was no longer living for herself. I wanted her to remarry; to start a life; to get the career she left back; to start a family. But she had devoted herself to us."