Guilty Pleasures

34

"It's always been you. Even when I didn't want it to be. Even when it broke my heart over and over again: it still screamed for you and you only."

Pallavi heaved a sigh as she continued to walk up the road, paying half attention to the cars that passed; whilst using her shoulder to balance her phone to her ear; as she fished through her bag to ensure that the documents she had acquired were safely tucked into bag she had remembered crafting at time where life was much simpler.

She moved rather agilely; fixing the strap of her bag more securely to her shoulder whilst using her opposite hand to secure her phone in a vice grip; because our heroine had a tendency to drop her phone about seven times a day.

If an apple a day kept the doctor away; the dropping her phone seven times a day seemed to invite the nuisance named Raghav Rao into her life; and after their last encounter she wanted nothing more but to never see that man again.

Or so she tried to convince herself.

A laboured breath had escaped her lips; as gripped at the pleats of her sari to avoid the litter that was stagnated across the area; whilst also trying to maintain the conversation she was indulged in on her way back to Jaya Rao's residence.

"Yes Krishna, Aayi is coping a lot better now that Baba is doing better. He should be discharged in a few days if things remain in the all clear zone but even at this moment in time his condition is too fragile."

"And how are you Didi?"

"Alive Krishna."

"That's not what I meant and you know it."

"I'm fine. Slightly exhausted from all this running around. I can't even go and handle the shop so god knows what will happen to the necessary account documents and legal papers that have most likely piled up. To top it off whenever I do find a moment to sit down I can't help but let my thoughts wander to places they no longer belong."

"Didi—"

"Krishna I'm fine. I'll keep hanging on if that's what you're concerned about; no matter how appealing the thought is to let go I won't."

"I know you won't I'm just worried about you."

"I know and I'm thankful for it."

"Didi what Raghav Rao did—"

"Leave it Krishna I do not want to hear that mans name let alone look at his face right now. What's happened has happened. Things are broken and they won't ever likely be fixed; the faster I force myself to accept that the better."

"No the faster you force yourself Di the more you'll break when you've finally had enough."

"So be it." She jabbed in sharply; her tone holding an edge of violence to it as though she was wanting exactly that.

"Didi..." Krishna seemed to breath down the line; for her best friend had sensed the truth within her anger; because if Pallavi Deshmukh was holding on then she was very much close to letting go; and that scared Krishna.

"I'll hang up. Bye."
"Didi—"

The resounding beeps were heard; the calling ending and Pallavi cursed herself for her behaviour because she was becoming too much like the man she despised.

She was pushing people away; she was forcing her guard up so high that her eyes looked numb; her bluntness and abruptness was punishing to those at its mercy.

She threw the small device into her bag, before resettling the straps in accordance; her brisk pace halting with a sudden instinct awakening.

She could her the harsh scrapes of the car behind her; her halted steps adopting a speed as she used her hair to shield her attempts at stealing a look.