✍︎𝑫𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒗𝒆 𝑺𝒉𝒐𝒕𝒐✍︎ (ᴀ Bᴀᴋᴜᴅᴇᴋᴜ Sᴛᴏʀʏ)

✍︎The Prince of Petty✍︎

A/N: a drawing of Miruko because she's a goddess.

Todoroki has to admit; Izuku was not only the 'bestest' friend in the world, but he was also the best fake boyfriend in the world. From the cuddles, the hand holding and the (platonic) cheek kisses, their act was way too convincing. It was so believable that they had labelled them as 'Class 1-A's cutest couple', meanwhile they were the only so called 'couple' in their class, so how could they determine that?

By the way, if anyone were to take up that position, it'll be 'BakuDeku' due to Katsuki's biased and jealous opinion.

If you hadn't noticed, Katsuki has been in a pissy mood ever since the canadian flag and Izuku came out as a 'couple', but like Izuku had promised, he was showered with love and attention. In a way, he benefited out of all of this.

But there was one particular mustard blond, who had once gotten his hair stuck in a meat grinder, that has been unhappy about the whole thing. From angrily singing 'into the thick of it' in his room to sobbing loudly to a sad minecraft roleplay, then to sitting in front of the microwave to watch the passing of time.

Through out that long, grieving and depressing time, he had come to a realisation. Todoroki, Katsuki and Izuku had to be in a threesome. He could vaguely remember how Mineta had suggested a threesome, but then he quickly remembered that Katsuki wasn't one to share, especially if he didn't hold any feelings for the broccoli boy, thus he resumed his big sad hours.

✍︎✍︎✍︎✍︎✍︎

"I think now will be a good time to ask."Mitsuki said, and from the other line, Katsuki could hear his pops sipping coffee quite noisily, which could be an answer or he just wanted to drink his coffee in peace.

Katsuki rolled his eyes with such intensity that it almost looked like he was trying to roll them into the back of his head.

"First, you asked for fake boobs-"

"I don't know why girls complain about having them, they're super comfortable."Izuku commented, like he wasn't the same person who, as soon as they were done fooling their classmates, ripped the padded chest off his body and yelled 'I'm free!'.

Soon after, the cafe had turned into a 'who can scream the loudest' contest with the kids as the contestants, and the adults and employees as the judges. One had even gone as far as crying and asking her mother if it was possible to remove 'boobies', to which Katsuki replied with a 'yes', and a 'you should try it when you hit puberty.'.

Ah, good times. Good times.

"-then you asked for padded school pants, and now you're asking me for padded cargo shorts.". Her voice grew low and concerned as she continued. "Is there some kind of roleplay going on between you and Izuku? Is this a kink that I'm not aware of?"

Katsuki choked on air, something he's been doing more often, as his face lit up as red as a traffic light. God, kill me. Kill me now. "K-kink?! Of course not, ya crazy old hag! I'm still a fucking virgin, what the fuck?!"

Izuku wasn't helping Katsuki's predicament, he really wasn't. He preferred to laugh, hugging his stomach in pain as his face contorted, that same face that Katsuki would gladly wack with his pillow repeatedly.

"Oi, don't speak to me that way, ya damn brat! I carried you for nine months and this is the shit behaviour I get in return?"

"Boohoo, cry me a fucking river. I didn't ask dad to knock you up, now did I?"

Masaru was currently dying on the other line from choking on his coffee.

"Ungrateful brat!"

"Bitcho mcpsycho!"