Peace On My Chaos

Kabanata 4

schwa//SHwä/

The unstressed central vowel  represented by the symbol /ə/ in the International Phonetic Alphabet.

Right at this moment I just wanted to be that phoneme. The unstressed Serenity Quene Mendez of AB Communication Arts student. I somehow felt I was being mocked by my own name for my current situation right now.

Today is our third day of midterm examination and as much as I wanted to feel relax or rest my mind even in a while, I seriously can't.

I was battling  with my minor headache due to radiation. May time limit ang exams namin virtually at kahit hindi naman sakin bago 'yun ay di ko maiwasang hindi makampante dahil sa internet connection.

I can still access the links and google forms but I'm afraid na baka matulad kahapon na malapit na akong mag-sumbit when suddenly my phone became abnormal and google app automatically close which lead me to my home screen. I can't rely to my laptop right now because of poor connectivity.

Kailangan ko na sigurong pumunta bukas sa sentro para kahit papaano ay magkaroon ng maayos na connection. I badly needed strong internet until tomorrow.

I massaged the bridge of my nose and reached for my tumbler to drink water. My phone receives a new notification indicating that our instructor have sent a link of google forms . I really need to finish it now.

I never expected my college journey to be liked this. When I was still in my senior high days, I imagined myself taking my college classes everyday in our university's vicinity. Having day-to-day interactions with our  professors, my course mates, new found friends and having commutes experience. Not in this kind of phase which I somehow considered as being homeschooled.

Yeah, it's nice to have a stay-at-home classes. You can stay in your comfort zone, take classes kahit wala pang ligo, eating while having activities but I must admit, I can no longer enjoy in this kind of set-up.

Kung hindi ko pipilitin ang sarili ko---maybe I've been procrastinating myself already and been tolerating all my laziness, sleepiness and unpressured moments. 'Yun kasi ang effect ng virtual class sa akin.

The idea of being sheltered in our home while taking classes felt like I was being protected from the harshness and pressures of outside forces.

As much as I love the un-bothered feeling, I have to admit that sometimes I need to be pressured.

We need to feel competition first handed, we should be exposed in a real life scenarios while studying because that will lead us to become more productive and equipped in our chosen  field.

After 40 minutes, I've finished my exam in a minor subject.  Six down--two more subjects to go but thankfully, we'll have it tomorrow because it's quarter to four pm already.

I tap the 'submit' button and waited for  the confirmation. After that, I exit from google form link and refreshed my phone first. I leaned on my seat and stretched my hands upwards. I was about to fix my notes when my messenger suddenly receives a chat head with a message

'sorry for being fc po."

What was that? I'm not up for any small talks right now. I ignored it since I can't view the picture from the chat because of ughh---network connection.

Inaayos ko ang mga printed na papel na nakakalat sa study table ko ng biglang makatanggap ulit ako ng mensahe. Ibinalik ko sa folder ang mga papel at tumayo papuntang kama habang dala ang cellphone. I'll take a nap first.

Good thing hindi ako ino-obliga ni papa na mag-asikaso ng mga manok ngayon because of my exams.

I opened my messenger to check for updates but my eyes darted to a new message from Aikah Fernandez. Siya pala 'yung nag chat.