Peace On My Chaos

Kabanata 6

Life can be confusing. We sometimes get another idea which is not inclined to what does the message really wanted to tell.

So whenever we stuck in that kind of scenarios it looks like we're on a guessing game. Trying to figure out so we could grasp the real meaning.

And that's what I feel at this moment.

I was holding a phone trying to put it in an angle so I could capture these guys in front of me. They were having a group picture and my cousins asked me to be their photographer. Singilin ko kaya ang mga 'to?

As I try to figure out a nice angle I can't deny the fact that this guy standing beside me already enough to made me feel uneasy.

"Hindi ka ba sasali sa kanila?" I asked as I signaled my models for another pic.

I felt him looked at me. "Hindi na. Masyado akong others."

I checked their photos and I saw what Adriano's trying to say. Naka cyclist attire kasi sila Kai.

"Hindi talaga. Mas gusto ko dito kahit walang picture."

Dahan-dahang sabi niya. I didn't try to look at him dahil nakikitingin din siya sa cellphone ni Kai na ginamit kong pang-picture. Nag-angat lang ako sa harap ng makarinig na naman ng mga panunukso which I'm trying hard to remain unbothered.

"Pwedi bang magpa-picture?" He asked me as I simply try to make space between us. I looked at his hand where his phone is.

I don't want to imply another meaning.

"Sure, akin na 'yung phone mo, punta ka d'on."

I told him that while looking at his expression. I saw him trying to stifle a smile. It seems the way I replied sounds funny to him, though he faced away and slightly shake his head.

Inabot niya sakin ang cellphone niya at lumapit na siya doon. I could see him through the phone screen and I'm always surprise to notice that he's really tall. The groups picture seems not right after I checked it. Medyo napatagal ang titig ko sa picture kaya di ko namalayang papalapit si Gerard.

"Grabe andito naman sa personal pero bakit picture ang tinitingnan?" This cousin of mine is always loud, masyadong ekis. I gestured him to go back but he just neared to me and reached for Adriano's phone, binigay ko na din ang phone ng kuya niya.

"Hays, ikaw ang pumalit sakin doon." Gerard pushed me when I planned to stand beside him. Wala akong nagawa kung hindi ang sumali para wala na daw magpapicture. Adriano is in the left side, so I chose to stand beside Kai sa bandang gitna.

Inaayos ko ang buhok ko ng biglang tawagin ni Gerard si Adriano na lumipat sa--dito sa gilid ko. This is what I wanted him to do earlier dahil masyado siyang matangkad para doon pumuwesto sa gilid. Now, paano ba ngumiti?

At dahil group picture ito, sobrang dikit halos kami. To think that Adriano's shoulder was touching the side of my back, hindi ko alam kung may sasaway ba sa amin dahil wala ng social distancing.

Around 5pm when we started to parted ways, I was already on my motor when Kai reminded me of our escapade this weekend which according to him ay three days so counted ang friday kaya babalik agad sila bukas dito. Hindi ako sure kung makaka-join ako sa kanila. May exam pa ako at may iba pa akong requirements. I was about to pass beside Adriano dahil naka-park siya sa gilid ng lumingon ito.

"Thank you sa libre." I then smiled and didn't wait for his respond. Umuwi na ako.

Kinagabihan ay tumambay ako sa balcony pagkatapos naming maghapunan. I was holding a glass of water habang dinadama ang pang-gabing hangin. I didn't bring my phone with me instead I left it in my room para naman maka charge ito at maipahinga ko din ang sarili sa gadget. I went inside para ibalik ang baso at kunin ang gitara. I felt the urge to play it while I reflect from everything that happens to me this days.