Far Away (Namjin)

My Future

There Namjoon was, with his black suit and his neckerchief, looking like the nobleman and the artist that he was; greeting people with a bright face and explaining his art to them.

Seokjin was in a dilemma whether he should step forward or wait for Namjoon to get closer.

For probably the hundredth time today, his thoughts were building up on top of eachother, making him feel heavy. He was getting so stressed like all those years that they grew up together was nothing. His hands started to sweat and his heartbeat started to get faster again. This was not good for his condition. Namjoon was bad for his heart.
But...wasn't he the reason Seokjin's heart didn't stop halfway during his God awful life?

Seokjin was so busy overthinking everything that he didn't notice the crowd around the man he loved getting seperated. He had been standing around for about an hour now, thinking how he should confront Namjoon instead of actually doing it. He's stare at Namjoon was out of focus, making him not notice that the galley's artist had turned around to face him.
Namjoon was aimlessly looking around after most of the crowd was gone when his gaze suddenly locked on his dear old friend. The person who sent him letters and notes and didn't give up on him when he did himself.

His smile faded into a shocked face; eyebrows pulled upwards and his mouth subconsciously open a little bit. He didn't expect Seokjin to come. Even if he did, his hopes got destroyed with every second he didn't see him in his gallery. But there he was, standing there with his brown coat trying to look fancy. Namjoon didn't care about that. He always thought Seokjin was so handsome he could even pull a cardboard suit off.

Seokjin was standing there, appreciating the art he came to look at, appreciating Namjoon. The man he had become. He was staring at him hoping he would notice and come to him. Seokjin was too shy to approach a person he hadn't seen for years and was continuously rejected by.
He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even notice Namjoon's facial expression changing when he saw him. Only when they were standing three feet from each other, Seokjin came back on earth and saw Namjoon. face to face, eye to eye.
Namjoons smile got bigger with every step he took towards his oldest friend. The person he loved most for the longest time, "Hey you came" he said as he opened his arms slightly, not as a suggestion for a hug, but as a welcoming gesture in order not to make things weird.
Seokjin didn't care, he was only waiting for one clue to push himself into Namjoon's arms, which felt thinner and less muscly than he remembered, "I will not give you a brake." Seokjin said sarcastically; then pulled away from Namjoon. He didn't want people to stare; as if they already weren't!

After that long awaited hug, they both just stood there for a couple seconds, the rest of the world seemed blurry in their eyes, they could only see each other. No noise, no movement, just the fact that their distance was only less than one meter. And that was the moment they wanted printed on their minds forever.

The girl who greeted Seokjin at the front door stepped in, breaking the silence, "I see you have found each other!"
Namjoon blinked himself out of the euphoria, "oh...yeah...um, Jin this is Amy, the person who helped me start all this."
Jin; Namjoon hadn't called him that in years. The sound of his name being heard from Namjoon's lips made him smile.
"Yeah, um...I'm just a friend who happened to be around; right place and right time I guess. Nothing more" Amy had sensed Seokjin's discomfort the moment she met him, she decided to clear things up for him.
Seokjin exhaled as if the invisible hands choking him from the day he read about Amy in Namjoon's letter had finally stopped pushing on this throat. His smile got bigger.

"Allow me to show you around sir" Namjoon was taking the fancy-artist-guy approach and Seokjin kind of liked his quirkiness.

"This section is from my early days, trying to find my own art, but also finding out how hard it is to live alone. And here we have more recent paintings of mine. I thought it might be more interesting to try and show the contrasts between who I was and who I am now."
Seokjin heard every word out of Namjoon's mouth but he wasn't listening. His eyes were fixed on his face at all times. Yes paintings were nice. Astonishing in fact, but that wasn't really what he came to see. At least not for now.
They walked past the corridors and visited several rooms with painting covered walls. Until they reached a room located right in front of the building with closed doors unlike every other.
Namjoon suddenly stood in front of him, blocking his way before he could push open the door that apparently hadn't been presented to the visitors until now.

"This is what I invited you here to see. This room holds my dearest and most special work that I have ever done and I want you to be the first who sees it."

Seokjin was perplexed. He had no idea that he was going to be presented with anything special in spite of all those ignorance he recieved from Namjoon over the years. He swallowed and put his fingers around the door handle.
"It's locked" Seokjin said after he tried both pushing and pulling the door open.

"It is"

"Well? Where's the key?"

"You already have it Seokjin dearest."

Seokjin was getting more confused with every second and it was very apparent on his face since Namjoon didn't let that pause last too long, "you still have that necklace?"

Seokjin's eyes doubled their size as he reached for his neck to grab the key hanging from it. That key was the only way to open a secret abandoned cabin in the woods back home. Only him and Namjoon had the key and they had promised long ago that they would never tell anyone about it. It was their own little rendezvous. A safe space for them to run away to.
That key fit the lock to the room in front of them and to Seokjin's surprise, it opened the door perfectly.
As soon as the door opened, the smell of coffee rushing out comforted Seokjin again. It was the same smell as his little flask. The same smell as all the memories he and Namjoon had.
Namjoon stepped in behind him, "to get the full experience..." he said as he moved to the gramophone in the corner. The soft sound of piano playing filled the room.

Seokjin looked at the walls, all painted in bright pink; his favorite color. The walls were filled with different art pieces. But as he walked closer towards them, they looked familiar.

"Hey this looks like the..."

"Hunted tree of the lake." They both said at the same time.

"Yes it is." Namjoon replied.

"And this is the barn" Seokjin started to recognize the paintings.

"This is Mrs. Park... and my flask, and when did you get to see chalk?"

"I went back home once. You weren't there but your horse was. Big and strong. And very white." Namjoon was so excited to tell Seokjin every single observation he had on that trip but he held back his words for later.

Seokjin kept looking around. Staring at each painting and drawing for a while. He wanted to take everything in little by little. He didn't want to forget anything.
But when he turned to see the other wall, his breath was taken away.

"These...these are..."
On that wall was every single letter he had written Namjoon over the past four years that they had been far away from each other. Along with all the drawings and embroidery Seokjing had sent him. All in good health and perfectly fine as if they were sent yesterday.
Tears covered Seokjin's sight and he started blinking fast, not wanting to cry and seem weak in front of Namjoon.

Above all those letters, were big words written in black paint and in very good hand writing. It said, "I found my way, I found my future."

Namjoon stepped forward,
"I have been terrible to you and I know it perfectly. I'm really ashamed of the awful things I've done to you but... I had seen how hard you work. How selfless and loving you are and....and..."

Namjoon exhaled in regret, "and I wanted you to learn to focus on yourself. Love and respect the beautiful human that you are. And the only way for you too see that, was to let nobody else invade your space. Not even me. I was so glad when I got that letter from you in which you said you're going back to college. In fact I got really excited and comforted with every letter I recieved every week. God knows how hard it was for me not to reply and tell you every single thing. So I made this. All for you. The things I loved to share with you. The memories I missed my chance to experience with you.

Jin, In my letter I told you that I had found my way, my future. That future, is you Jin, my future is you, with you, about you. I love all of you. Every little detail, every little flaw you like to think you have. I adore and worship them. I know this may not be enough but I promise, I will make it up to you. I will make it better. You will never feel lonely, ever again. I... I love you, Jin. My dearest, beloved, Jin."

Seokjin didn't know what to say. His insistence not to cry had failed him and he could barely take a breath.
Seokjin took a step towards Namjoon. Once again, it was only he and him, with the rest of the world locked out. This was their own moment. The one thing they had longed for all these years.
Seokjin took one more step, grabbed Namjoons face gently, and put his own lips on his. He was the one. The person he loved, adored and looked up to the most. He was his future.