The Chapel

Chapter 13:

When we returned to the chapel that evening with Ally, we weren't expecting company. We sat down in the first pew, Ally talking about her brother's new girlfriend with Jesus—Jesus laughing at the stupid stories she was sharing about them.

Then the doors opened and in walked Billy. The three of us rose to meet him, Jesus with the largest grin I'd ever seen on his face. Billy refused to meet our eyes, however.

"Billy?" I asked, "I really didn't think you'd show."

He said nothing but sat in the pew in the back.

I shared a look with Jesus. "What do I do?" I whispered.

Jesus smiled. "Speak to him."

"Wait what? Why can't you or Ally? I barely know any of this myself, how am I ready to tell someone else?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"He's got a point..." Ally pointed out.

"Yes," Jesus said. "But you know enough, Max. Go." He turned to the exit and Ally went with him. She mouthed the words 'Be careful' as she left.

I inhaled deeply before walking to Billy's pew. "Billy."

"I assume you want to talk about this God of yours?" Billy asked, still not meeting my eyes.

"Why else would you have come?"

"Fair point."

"Why do you hate God so much?"

Billy was startled with this question. It was obvious as he accidentally met my eyes. "He caused my life to be a living hell. You should know, aren't your parents dead?"

"My dad, not my mom. That's not God's fault though," I pointed out.

"Sure, but he didn't stop it."

"Okay, sure. Why do you hate God?" I asked.

He turned to look at the paintings of Jesus on the walls of the chapel. "He put me in a shitty family." He said nothing more.

"Well," I said, sitting beside him.

"My mom drinks. My dad hits. Shitty family, like I said."

"I'm sorry."

"No, you aren't. You hate me, I hate you. If you're going to talk about God, let's at least be honest."

"I am sorry. You might blame God for this, but I don't think it was his intention for this to be the outcome. If it is, then he has a purpose for that."

"What kind of loving God would choose to cause pain just to use it?"

"He doesn't cause it. He makes good out of it though." I suggested. I was mostly suggesting at this point. Billy met my eyes.

"Well," I said. "Sin caused us to be broken right? Sin is... well everything we do wrong. I'm new at this, give me a sec. So, sin was the thing that caused your parents and your family to be so broken—"

"God didn't do anything."

"God was the one who prompted me to bring you here," I said. "He wants to help you."

"Yeah, right."

"Look, I know this is crazy. But trust me, God doesn't hate you. He loves you more than you know. Sin caused brokenness, right? Jesus, God's son, came and died so we could be free from it, so we could live a.... opposite of brokenness life? No, no... A full life. But we only live a full life in Jesus. Trust me, Jesus is pretty cool." I stopped and was immediately thrown off my train of thought. "So... so..."

"So, I need to accept Jesus in my life? I've heard it a thousand times."

"So then why don't you?"

He said nothing.

"I think your problem is you don't want God to love you, do you? We only accept the love we think we deserve, and you don't think you deserve it, do you?"

"Of course, I don't. I'm a living mistake."

"Jesus doesn't think that."

"My parents do. Everyone does. Let's be real, you probably do too."

"No."

"Really?"

"If God says you're not a mistake, and if God's word is absolute truth, you aren't a mistake. You're fearfully and wonderfully made."

Billy stared at me with tears in his eyes. "Do you even know what that means?"

"Nope. It sounded good when I said it though, don't you think?" We both chuckled for a moment.

"You know, Max, you aren't so bad." Billy said.

I nodded. I saw Jesus begin to approach us, so I stood and told Billy to try to listen to what the homeless man was going to say. Billy nodded, confused.

Then I stood outside with Ally.