𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗥 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥𝗦, 𝗬𝗨𝗡𝗔 ━━━ ❝ she's born angel soft, grown heavenly in love. ❞
where his late-lover leaves him with
a box of small notes and recordings
as one 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹 memory of her.
...
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𝐌𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐘,
Well, I don't really know how to start this, or end it for that matter. But many people around me had said this would be a good way to get all my thoughts out, so I'm giving it a try.
I miss you, a lot. I'd figure at least that much out, my feelings are still blurry at the moment and it's like I'm still in delirium. But I know, when I wake up, you still wouldn't be there.
I miss your smile and the way your eyes crinkle when you do. The way my heart flutters when you flash your breathtaking grin. I miss you.
I wish I could see you again. Just once. Ask you the questions I didn't get to when you were still here. To hold the hands that fitted so perfectly in mine. To tell you all the things I never said. I wonder how you'd react to all the things we planned to do. The places we wanted to travel. The songs we wanted to sing. All the stories we'd read. I wonder what you'd say if I read you one, as you laid in my lap.
Maybe if you were looking down on me, you'd tell me everything would be alright. But that's alright. I know everything will be okay. I know it'll turn out alright. I know because you taught me that through the pain there's beauty. Something soft and safe. A reprieve. After pain, there is rest.
And where there is rest, there is peace.
But I believe I'm not quite there yet, not in the mental state I wish to be. But as long as I have you by my side, I know I'll get there eventually.
We kept talking about going stargazing together, but I believe you never needed to. If you'd look close enough, you'd be able to see the entire constellation in your eyes. The way your eyes hold the entire galaxy. You remind me of the stars, I can't forget them, and would never will.
There was something particular about your eyes, maybe it's because it had the same glistening and sparkling of the night sky or it had the same shine, and the same hue. I remember how you would glare at me and look away when I stared back.
Those eyes that looked at me with sincerity and concern when something went south. Those eyes that sparkled pure joy and excitement whenever I visited. The eyes that I would wait till sunrise for them to open again. I miss them.
I'd picture you wrapped in beautiful white lace, walking down the aisle. I'd see the girl I've wanted to marry, finally become mine. My first love, ultimately becoming my last.
We'd raise our kids near the ocean, not inside Hera Palace since we've never liked it here anyways. We'd raise them there so we could stargaze by the beach everyday.
We'll grow old together, and I'll love you through each and everyone of them. Every kiss, every fight, every happy and sad moment, I'll love you unconditionally no matter how old and wrinkly we get.
But how can I plan a future for the both of us when only one of us gets to live through it. Without you beside me is a future without meaning, a life without purpose.
Although, I'll pull through. Like we always have, together.
I love you. Without requisite or deadline, Jang Yuna, I will always love you.
For eternity & after, Joo Seok-Hoon.
# 𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐄 𝐒𝐏𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐒 ! ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ
surprise !! a seok-hoon entry !! how we feeling people ? thoughts ? i really like this chapter, it is still up till this day my fav chapter i think i've ever written ;^; anyways, really want to write to more seok-hoon entries. please vote !
