dragonfly || d.m. [✔]

falling apart.

Dragonfly,

My dearest, my love — my Dragonfly. Not anymore though, we have fallen apart, your lace-wings on my lap, yet your body long gone. For no reason at all, there is a dragonfly zoo in the Malfoy graveyard upon a grave named 'Libelle Malfoy'. Even in death, you lie, or rather, I make you. You might not have been Malfoy — you might have hated me.

For no reason at all, tears form and fall constantly from my closed eyelids. For no reason at all, I pick heathers from the newly planted heather fern in the Malfoy garden. For no reason at all, I have let the everlastings near them die. For no reason at all, I fell for you, when you were only a lie.

I see it now. 

You might have been a lie for all I care, and I fell for you like the fool I am. Yet, even though the world around me is shattering and I feel nothing but my heart being pulled down by gravity, I do not rue the short time we had together.

Short, it might be, yet, it gave me the world in a simple unit of time of bliss.

Fall apart, put yourself back together, fall apart once more — it's useless. It's a vicious cycle of hurt and desire for you. 

I was a dragon before you came, yet, I am no more a dragon after you have taken your leave. I am a simple boy, who fell for lies which were sweet as honey as they dropped from her mouth. I am a flower, withering day by day, my source of water now dried up. 

You were the sun — I, the waning moon, and without the sun no light does ever reach the moon. I am alone, in this dark, still world. 

Maybe I shouldn't let myself wither away — so says Luna — but I never believed in life after love. The love I had for you — still do — consumed me, it became my life. I am nothing without it, everything with it.

You fooled me, tricked me into falling for you, when truly it was simply guilt of leaving me that you called love. Tell me, Libelle, wasn't it?

And don't lie this time. Please don't break my trust once more.

I think I finally have you figured out. 

Did you truly care about me? Because if you did, you wouldn't have jumped in front of the Killing Curse without a thought in the world. You wouldn't have left me here, all alone, falling apart. You wouldn't have lied to me so thoroughly — lies of intertwined hands, eyes meeting across the room, of rings, of dragonflies and dragons being together.

I am hurting, Libelle. It hit me hard, and people thought I was mad, crossing the battlefield, screaming, "My Dragonfly? Libelle?"

I think I am insane, for you and after you.

Falling apart came so naturally to me, as if I was made for it. As if my heart lived simply to be broken. 

But by god, the times when we were real was beautiful. For me, because I really do not know how much of it was real for you, if at all.

Falling for you, falling apart, you always have me falling, falling, falling ...

I just wish you'd catch me and bring an end to the fall. 

Holding on was so easy, letting go hurt me. It hurt me because only then did I realise that everything lets go. You let me go, you let life go, and now I let you go. I got the closure I needed.

And in a few years, you'll be dying once more — in my memory. And something more in me will fall apart — the part of my heart where you will forever live.

It's funny how they say, "until death do us apart", in the weddings, right? Because in our wedding I would say, "Until death unite us."

Until death unite us, Dragonfly — I'd die to be with you.

Just like I waited for eight years only to have you for one and a half years — or rather, for half a day. Half a day when I truly felt like you cared. The day on which you died.

They say ghosts come back if they left someone on Earth who they didn't want to leave; then, where are you? 

I have a feeling that we ended before we began, Dragonfly. Don't you?

Everything falls apart in the end. Every single thing. The entire human civilization will one day. No one will ever remember us two, two souls who met and simply felt. Felt something they didn't feel with anyone else.

You fell apart. I will fall apart in a few years' time. That, Dragonfly, is simply life. And I hope, that one day, if someone finds this letter from me to you, it will help them realise that everything is truly not as it seems — the cold, hard outcast by the name of Draco Malfoy truly did feel; the new, outcast, hooded girl had not only one face, but two.

You might not have been that bad in life, but in Death, you terrorise me, my love. Death, death, death. 

The war was not won by any side. It simply existed in this world which is destined to fall apart, just like the two of us do. 

Trying to hold on is really just delaying the letting go. 

Holding on, letting go, holding on, letting go, holding on, letting go — synonyms. 

Yours even in death,
Draco Malfoy.