dragonfly || d.m. [✔]

promises,

They're meant to be kept,
Not to be broken,
Not to be abandoned,
Not to be stranded,
Not be lost,
Not to be forgotten —
Then why is that,
All that ever happens
To them?

***

d r a c o  m a l f o y

Damn my life.

Damn my past.

Damn my future.

But in the end, I'm just damn-ing her.

She fucking promised me when we were eight -- but how does that matter? Promises are meant to be kept! Always and forever. To and after the end of time. 

How is it that ours is lying on the floor, getting kicked by the world then? I'm trying to pick it up, but it's too heavy for me. She needs to help me.

Why doesn't she see that she isn't a threat, the world is? The world is the threat to me. Her. Us.

"Mother, I got El's cooties!" I screamed, running towards Aunt Cissy.

She doesn't say anything.

To be frank, I don't believe that I have her cooties -- how can I? She's so pretty!

"Oh?" Mum asks.

"Yes," I tell her very seriously.

I did this everyday -- it was a stunt of mine to attract my mother's attention. She was into Romeo and Juliet (which had a LOT of kissing), so if I kissed El, I might attract her attention.

Well, that was before the same kisses started an attraction towards El.

Then she left and my heart was broken, not only because I liked her as much as an eight year old boy can like a fellow eight year old girl, but also because I had built something for her on her birthday -- the very next day.

I sighed as I remembered what I wanted to give her, it was something so special, so meaningful. And it was still there. 

Could I still give it to her?

I didn't want to leave our -- wait, my -- dorm that day. It seemed like a futile thing to do, hell, everything did. 

After a rather pleasant dream, my life immediately morphed into a nightmare because I heard a voice I hated. Detested, despised . . . oh, the list went on.

"Dracie-poo, come and eat something!" I hear someone call and I immediately know who it is. Astoria fucking Greengrass.

I ignore her, smoothly sliding back into my bedsheets. I'm not being rude or anything, I like attention and affection. But too much of anything is bad. Very annoying, in fact.

"Dracie-poo!"

You must realize that peer pressure is a strong thing -- at least, I did at that moment. Because the sniggers outside was what compelled me to open my lovely, asocial-ness allowing door and looked straight at Astoria's blue eyes.

"Hello!" she said, a little too enthusiastically.

I stifle a groan, running my hands through my hair, "Hello, Greengrass."

"It's Astoria," she happily reminds me. "Breakfast!"

"Yes, Greengrass, why don't you go on though?"

"Okay, Dracie-poo, my sweetie pie," she says, kissing my cheek.

A little way down the corridor, I see Libelle watching us. She stares at us in disbelieve, shakes her head and moves on.

And I'm afraid that she's going to move on from me too.

"Lib- Aria, it's not what it seems like," I shouted after her, running to catch up.

She stares at me, something like pain and jealousy flashing through her eyes for a second, "It didn't even take you a day to move on. All that shit you said inside was a show, wasn't it?"

"No, I-"

But she isn't here to hear it anymore. Someone please hear me out, my father, my mother, Libelle, anyone. Please, before I lose whatever parts of myself I've managed to put together.

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