Rough Patch

Final Decision

Steven and Connie sat across from each other during lunch one day and shared a meal for the first time since the restaurant. He spent an hour teaching her how to make grilled cheese, and she had done exceptional.

"You sure you've never had a grilled cheese before?"

Connie smiled as her cheeks reddened and shook her head. "Mom says grilling things just adds carbs."

"Well, you did a good job. I hope she can forgive me." He returned her smile and sat back for a bit, watching her eat. He loved watching her black curls bounce with every tiny movement of her head. The way her eyes fluttered shut as each gooey bite was taken into her mouth. She looked happy. For the first time in a long time, her smile reached her eyes. 

Her eyes had been wandering idly but after awhile, Connie met Stevens gaze. "What?"

"What?"

"You're... staring at me." She looked down. "Did I say something wrong?"

The way she said it made his heart ache. She was so eager to please, so different from the independent girl he once knew. He shook his head. He needed to stop wanting her to be the same girl they were when they were kids. He had changed, why shouldn't she be expected to change as well? "I'm going about this the wrong way," He crossed his arms and sighed. "Aren't I?"

"Wh-what do you mean?"

"Two things: One, I find myself wishing the old Connie would come back. But in reality, I've grown quite fond of you. You're different. And so am I. The very first ability I had was to change, yet, I find myself too often wishing everything had stayed the same. And two, I don't want you going out with those guys, yet I let you shut yourself inside until you've got cabin fever. I should be taking you out instead. We should be seeing the world. Or at the very least, just seeing the city." 

Connie blinked at him and swallowed her last bite. "I'm sorry I've been so difficult." 

"I'm partly to blame. I've been parenting, not helping. And there's a difference. And when I'm not parenting, I'm making sure you're sore enough to have to stay in the night. Part of that is jealousy." He wasn't looking her in the eye, just above her, into the abyss. But now he forced himself to look at her dead on. "And I'm sorry." 

There was a heavy silence and both felt the weight of it on their shoulders. It made them feel small compared to the other, even though they were feeling the same. The longer they looked at each other, the heavier the silence got. 

It was unbearable, like a humid summer day. 

"I forgive you." They said together. 

The heaviness lifted so quickly that they could only burst into tears on their respective sides of the table, Steven crying a little harder than Connie. It felt like middle school again, it felt like going on missions again, sharing their special moments together. It felt safe. It felt familiar. 

"I love you too, Steven." Connie blurted through tears. 

Steven smiled. "I realized something. You can't fix me. I can't fix you. But we can try to put the pieces back together. I know you're hurting. And I see so many ways you could get hurt or worse if you keep on. I should never have let one of those things be me." His hand was palm up on the table, his offering to Connie. "We're on the same team, Connie." 

She hesitated and locked her eyes on his hand. If she truly wanted to get better, this was her moment. 

Or she could walk away and stay the same. 

She raised her eyes to him, laughed and without another moment of apprehension, 

she took his hand.