the sink hole of loving you //mattheo riddle

Chapter 3

I have loved mattheo ever since we became friends. From the moment that Cormac Mclaggen broke my heart, and Mattheo went ahead and broke his nose. That was when I realized I loved him. He smiled at me, and told me I was beautiful, and smart, and way too good for Mclaggen, and then he let me cry, and get mascara all over his white t-shirt, and when i noticed that i got his shirt all dirty, and got embarrassed and started apologizing he told me that he liked it better with the black on it. He said it made his shirt cooler than just a plain white t-shirt. I knew he was lying, and that he probably wasn't stoked about the mascara on his shirt, but he had the goofiest smile on his face, and he was so sweet. That was the first sleepover we ever had. To help me feel better we watched a romantic comedy with the worst acting the world has ever seen. We bashed that movie all night, and then we watched more of the most criticized movies on the planet, until we both fell asleep. and then i knew, i was in some deep sh*t. Because I was in love with my best friend, and he didn't love me back. Not in the way I wanted him to. I had gone on dates since my revelation that I was in love with him, but I haven't been on more than 2 dates with a guy since then. It doesn't seem worth it, when i know i'll never love them like i love mattheo. he just gets me. he knows how to make me laugh when the only thing i want to do is cry. he knows my favorite movies, favorite songs, books, the girls that i hate, the boys that i think are cute, the things i cry about at night, and so much more. no one's got anything on him. He knows everything about me. Except for the most important thing. and he may never know. He goes out with girls all the time, and as his best friend I ask him about them, and how he feels. He tells me how much he likes them, and how good they feel, and how perfect and sexy they are, and it takes everything in me not to interrupt him, and kiss him, tell him how I feel. I'd tell him how much I want to hear him say those things about me. talk about how perfect I am, how good I feel. but I would never tell him. because he doesn't feel the same. and a part of my heart breaks off every time he says he thinks he found the one. the girl he will spend the rest of his life with, and he doesn't say my name. Those are the times I want to yell. and scream. ask him if he knows their favorite color. or their favorite movie, or what keeps them up at night, or the boy who broke their heart?! but i don't. I never do. I sit there. and smile. and nod. and I die a little inside. because he's perfect. and I'm in love with him. but he's not in love with me.