Streetlight [Changlix]

8

"I can't rely on anything
Choose to rely on myself
And now that I'm shaking, I'm
Who the hell should I catch?"

The next week, Changbin was what could be considered better. Partly.

They've had a lot to do, a lot of recording, practicing, a lot of fake smiles and voices and posts on Instagram. There were a lot of sightings and a lot of pictures taken, Changbin's anxiety was also slowly rising.

Felix knew that and, as usual, kept close to him, just in case, no matter what happened or what they did, he was always there.

The shorter knew that and thanked him, but for the first time, he found himself shamelessly wanting more.

The first fansite they did that month, he had had the stupidest urge to cling to the younger, and only noticed how close he had scooted when he saw Jisung's wide eyes. He immediately let go of Felix's arm and pouted pretending to act cute for Stays so it wouldn't seem too fake.

Felix had laughed and carefully found his hand, pulling it behind his back as Minho did a sexy dance and praying everyone was distracted as their fingers gently played with each other, only to part ways not long after, leaving Changbin a bit better.

That night, all Changbin wished was that he could have slipped into the younger's room and fall asleep with him by his side, but the members were all there, and he didn't want to have to explain it in the morning.

Changbin absolutely hated that.

—————

It was a weird feeling, to feel so safe and so in danger at the same time, as if you bent too close to the rooftop's end but loved to the the view down there.

Changbin knew it was dumb for anyone to take a turn to a street full of abandoned buildings that no one even acknowledged anymore, covered in darkness and consumed by silence, walking down until the last surviving streetlight in the middle of it and sitting down at 3 am, with a single notebook and a phone, just in case. It was stupid of him, it could go extremely wrong, and if any other member ever did it and he found out he was sure he would probably scream at them and want to both hug them and hit them for being safe but so stupid to do it.

Yet, he didn't really have the same thoughts when it was himself. And it wasn't even about his lack of interest in life, no. He genuinely felt safe, as if nothing could get to him while he scribbled and doodled on the hidden street.

He stayed there for hours, as per usual, Felix's face distinguished between the verses that started coming off easily by 5 am, as if the fresh air pulled them out of the shorter, not letting a single word stay behind.

It felt like he was free, but he knew it wouldn't last much.

It was 6:30 when he got back, and to his luck, Chan wasn't up, he probably had drifted off to sleep not long ago. Jeongin stirred as he walked to his bed, groaning and turning, which made Changbin smile.

On times like this he wished he was normal. He wished he could simply cover up the younger and maybe kiss his forehead like Felix and Chan did to him. He was supposed to be his older brother, and yet he barely showed any affection to the guy at all, nor to the others.

He sighed and pulled Jeongin's covers up, watching as he smiled in his sleep, cuddling himself.

The older plopped in his bed and let his eyes close, drifting off to sleep for a few minutes, before the alarm rang, the day starting off.

Yes I am late and I'm sorry, this app was being a little bitch and wouldn't open 😭

Alexa play Cherry by Itzy.