BOOK 2 OF THE BELLAMY BLAKE SERIES
"You used to know me." I murmur, staring at my hands as if they show the blood that coats them.
"No," Bellamy shakes his head. "I do know you, Hailey," he grabs my chin.
"I'm a monster," I say, a tear falling dow...
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song: the night we met by lord huron
I'm falling down the rabbit hole of lies and compartmentalising. I throw everything Elliot ever told me out the window and into the empty air of space. Never had I thought that I would repay him like this and it's only been a couple of hours.
It only took me a couple of hours to fall apart without you, El. I told you I needed you and for once, I was the right one.
Losing someone you love, they say, will get better with time. The heartbreaking and crushing feeling that courses through my veins will eventually disappear, they say. Well, people lie.
They lie and lie and lie.
Elliot lied when he said he wasn't going to die and now, I'm alone. It's just me and the grass soaring by beneath my flowing hair. Funny how the little things slip your mind when you're in the thick of it. The little things like how far away Elliot's eyes looked when he was going away. Going away. I like that. It's better than the alternative.
His bloodied and broken face is glued to the back of my eyelids, so even blinking is painful. I need a distraction, something that can strip away the image and shove it into a box, far away into my brain.
My first thought is Bellamy, but then my heart shatters into a million pieces. I don't know what happened to Bellamy, he could be alive or dead. In pain or six feet under, either way, I'm stumbling around in the dark for an answer.
I never liked the dark as a child, but it wasn't for the reasons that you think. It wasn't because I was scared of the boogeyman or some ghost-like creature, it was because I was scared of the unknown. I didn't know if there was somebody there or not, nor did I know if the closet I was in was locked or not. I never knew if I was going to be caught.
And that scared me.
Now, the only thing that scares me is the girl in the water that stares back at me. The one with sunken-in cheeks and red-rimmed eyes. The girl that was broken, moulded back together and then shattered. The girl that is me.
I don't bother telling Miloch that I'm awake and that I can walk on my own. My mind is an ancient record player with a scratch that is replaying the same moment over and over again.
Elliot laying there, his eyes glazed over, staring at nothing and everything at the same time.
It haunts my mind and my soul and I can feel it in my bones that it's going to stay there until the day I die. There must be a demon out there that is cursing me and everyone that I care about because never had I ever thought that my life could end up like this. Never had I ever imagined that my strong stance and unwavering gaze would be swapped out for a weak stumble and downcasted eyes.
"Hailey," Miloch says suddenly, breaking me out of my endless stare. "I know you're awake," he says with a neutral tone in his voice.
"So?" I reply slowly, still not breaking my gaze from the forest floor. That is until his feet still and he sits me on the ground.
