My Darling Feline (Bill X Fem! Reader)

Chapter Ten: Cake, Stars, & You

"Well, well, look what the cat dragged in. Or I guess... the human." Sam's deep voice boomed across the room the moment Bill and I stepped into the cooking club. The air hit me like a wall of spice and sizzling oil. It smelled like someone actually knew what they were doing in here.

"Hi, Sam!" I called, flashing him a smile before I was abruptly scooped into a bear hug so tight I swore I saw a glimpse of the afterlife. Sam's arms wrapped around me like he was trying to crack my spine back into alignment. Sweet gesture, deadly execution.

Bill grumbled something under his breath, but Sam didn't seem to notice, or maybe he just didn't care because next thing I knew, he had one fist buried in Bill's thick fur, giving him a rough, older-brother-style noogie.

Bill growled. Sam laughed. I just stood there, grinning like an idiot, thoroughly entertained.

"What brings you two misfits to my domain?" Sam asked as he dusted off his apron and somehow wrestled his wild mane into a hilariously tiny hairnet.

"We've been temporarily exiled from drama club," I said, "so we figured we'd crash your little walk-in session and see what all the stove-hype is about."

Sam narrowed his eyes, amusement practically oozing off him. "Ah. Makes sense. Normally, Bill wouldn't be caught dead near a kitchen after what happened last year."

"Oh god," Bill groaned, already bracing for it.

"Tell me you didn't hear about the ramen incident," Sam said to me, eyes sparkling with glee.

"I did not," I said. "But I desperately need to."

Sam smirked like the villain in a sitcom. "Your boy here almost burned down our entire dorm building trying to make instant ramen. Forgot to add water. At two a.m."

"It was one time! I was sleep-deprived!" Bill barked, pointing an accusing finger like Sam had committed slander.

"One time too many," Sam said, smacking his back with a heavy hand. "The whole floor smelled like toasted plastic for a week."

I laughed. Loudly. No shame. "That's honestly kind of impressive. You created a whole new level of culinary disaster."

Bill scowled. "Why does everyone know about that?!"

"Because," Sam said, patting his shoulder like a supportive parent, "you triggered the fire alarm. In the middle of the night. During finals week, genius."

"Anyway," I said, jumping in before Bill could turn redder, "we're here to learn. Or at least I am. Can't speak for Mr. Ramen Inferno."

"Alright, let's see if you two can make something edible. Welcome to hell's kitchen, dorm edition."

"Just try not to light anything on fire, Bill" I said sweetly. "Especially not yourself."

Bill rolled his eyes. "I'll have you know I'm a fast learner. Maybe I'll become a five-star chef just to spite you."

"Can't wait," I grinned. "You can start by not burning water."

Sam raised his hands like we'd just accused him of a crime he was too tired to deny. "Alright, alright," he said, shaking his head with a teasing grin. "You two disasters go grab a station. We're doing a partner lesson today, so... lucky you."

He gestured to the center of the room where sleek cooking stations were lined up like a battlefield, one for each duo brave enough to face flames, knives, and the emotional breakdowns that came with trying to cook under supervision.

Bill and I made our way to the only empty setup left, tucked between a duo of herbivores who looked like they took this way too seriously and a raccoon who was already snacking on half of the ingredients.